Resilience and love in the face of fear

You’re hardwired for resilience.

Which is a huge comfort.

Trusting your innate resilience means you don’t have to struggle to change external circumstances in order to be happy, content, motivated, productive, and fulfilled.

Because life is hard sometimes. Life is hard often. Challenges. Obstacles. They keep coming.

How are you handling challenges and obstacles?

Life gets hard. Life gets scary.

  • I look at the seemingly endless stream of tragedies all over the globe and I despair.
  • I look at my currently shrinking client base and I get overwhelmed by my financial insecurities.
  • I wonder what I have to change, do, or overcome to have romance in my life.

innate resilience

And then I remember my true nature.

My true nature is love — juicy, meaningful, and fulfilling — and luckily, I live in a body that’s wired to return to love, again and again and again. You’re wired that way too. What a relief to know this!

“The price of our vitality is the sum of all our fears”
― David Whyte

I’ve been studying the Three Principles with a brilliant teacher, and soaking up this freeing knowledge. Today I came across a post about returning to love that reminded me of my own resilience and that I don’t have to do anything at all (except maybe to loosen my death grip on fear a little) to create the opening that allows me to return to love.

I like the idea that love and fear cannot coexist.

It’s true. When I reground and return to love, when I let my hardwired resilience do its thing, I can act instead of react.

  • I can finish my imperfect and incomplete new website and launch it (yup, I even have a launch date now!)
  • I can approach friends and colleagues and ask them to help me promote my new work.
  • I can even tell you that if you’ve been thinking about working with me, now is a wonderful time to begin — I have some openings in my schedule!

Resilience: you can think of it as returning to love, or you can think of it as remembering your true nature (as Mark Silver teaches — check out his free remembrance challenge).

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
― Rumi

When you remember and return to love, to your true nature, you’re making changes from the inside, and every change you make inside yourself affects your external reality. This is a much more peaceful and productive way to move through challenges and problems than sitting in fear waiting for external circumstances to change. That’s painful and doesn’t work very well because there are always circumstances!

Posted on July 26th, 2016. Posted in these categories: love, resilience. 2 Comments

Rebrand insights — they just keep coming!

Anatomy of a Rebrand part 4

Since the insights keep coming, let’s look at them together.

I’m in the phase of the rebrand now where many things are happening at once. I’m working on the website in WordPress. Developing the look, the feel, the many images, the content, the offers. Many of these focus areas have come with insights — uninvited, unanticipated, and in many cases pretty ouch-y.

Rebranding insights

  • Testing your new unannounced high-end program on an existing client is dangerous.

    First insight: Stealth beta testing is not for the faint of heart. You don’t know your new content well (you’re still creating it), so you may find yourself paying more attention to the content than to your client. I’m here to tell you she’ll notice. She won’t like it; she probably won’t feel like you’re focused on her (because you’re not, at least not as much as she deserves). It’s a dumb move, I won’t be repeating it, and I don’t recommend it.

  • Working on the visual components and your marketing copy at the same time is challenging!

    Second insight: Make sure you have good support and a good team. Unless you are a brand whisperer and designer like me you’ll probably never be in this position. Managing pixels, images, and words at the same time can really stretch your ability to get the job done. I could have DIY’ed this whole thing, but luckily for me, I listened to my coach. I have hired one of my team members to do a big chunk of the coding on the new site. Even if you’re DIY-ing your website, don’t do it alone. Do the parts that come easy to you (maybe it’s the copy writing, maybe it’s the images, maybe it’s creating the content for the pages) and invest in really good support for the rest.

  • Make sure your website is easy to edit.

    Third insight: Lower the bar, get the content good enough, and launch. You don’t have to have anything perfect in order to share it with your tribe. Dynamic content is queen, yo. Give great thanks for WordPress (or any other easy-to–content-manage platform), and if your site is not on WordPress yet, talk to me. and find out what you need to do to make the change.

    Once your site is on WordPress and launched, you can keep refining your copy, and your offers, and your fees as you go. If you still have a static website that forces you to do anything more complicated than log in, edit the page, and hit Update, you’ll find yourself making changes less frequently than you can (or must) to stay on top of changes in your business. There’s another big reason to keep your content dynamic: Google is favoring fresh content more and more. You’re doing yourself a search-rankings favor every time you add or change copy on your site.

What did I leave out?

It’s been quite a day! I’m sure I didn’t list all the good (ouch!) insights. If you have any other (re-)branding insights to share, let me know in the comments.

Blessed be.

Posted on July 12th, 2016. Posted in these categories: branding. 34 Comments

Keeping it simple, sister

Simplified strategies for your spiritual wisdom business.

True confessions from the rebrand wars battlefield that doesn’t seem to have an end.

I don’t want to call it a war. Or a battlefield. Because it doesn’t feel like that. (Mostly.) Instead it feels more like an endless series of details in which I can lose myself, and that’s a big part of why my new website, my new upleveled brand, my new offers haven’t launched yet, and worse, haven’t been seen by anyone but me and my mastermind buddies. Time to come back to keeping it simple.

Ugh.

KISS — keeping it simple, sister.

I am mindful that I’ve taken too long to get this done – the new website, the new brand, the new offers. The time is right — right now! — to lovingly lower the frickin’ bar and move on.

Keeping it simple with business strategies.

Here are the questions I’ve been dealing with and resolving, some of which you may have also run across:

  • How do you step out of the weeds (those endless details!) and declare the work good enough? Where do you draw the line? For me, since a good portion of what I offer is brand development and design of visuals, how perfect and stunning and unique and breathtaking and on-target does my own design need to be in order to resonate in the heart (and spending plan) of the women I’m here to serve? Can lowering the bar and getting it out in the world — even if it’s not perfect — be useful? I think maybe so.

    Lesson learned: I think that there’s just as much value (or more!) to knowing when to call it good, launch it, and move on as there is in taking pains over every word and every pixel.

  • How do you get your offers seen by the people you are meant to serve? I’ve begun doing research and I’ll tell you, I am daunted! There are many (younger, fitter, and stronger, I’m sure) in the wisdom- and spiritual-biz field who are doing launches and A/B testing and list-building at a level that exhausts me to contemplate. So after swooning and moaning to my Mastermind that I need simple strategies, I came up with some.

    I am keeping it simple with strategies for my own launch that will be scalable and evergreen and — hoping they work(!) — will become part of what I teach my clients.

    1. I’m going to personally invite around 20 business colleagues and friends to help spread the word. However they like. Interviews. Guest posts. Social shares. In their own words or in copy written by me that they can cut and paste.

    2. I’m going to run a Challenge in my Facebook group (for wise and passionate business women, come join us here) to increase engagement, grow my list, and add revenue.

    3. I am going to increase my visibility — my steady loving presence in the marketplace, as Paul Zelizer says — and tie my work and my writing to my social media interactions in a more holistic way.

  • My Keeping It Simple pledge for the new upleveled Magnolias West website:

    I will review the content one more time per my coach’s input and try to balance the spiritual Divine Feminine language with an increased infusion of down-to-earth business smarts.

    I will get this child theme I’m developing good enough so I can pull the trigger and launch it. Even though that means some of the design features I had in mind (and spent a ton of time dreaming up) don’t get to be seen yet.

    I will get those personal invitations out by mid-July for an end of July launch, with the Facebook challenge right behind.

How are you keeping it simple with your own business strategies?

Let’s talk in the comments.

Posted on June 29th, 2016. Posted in these categories: business development, keep it simple. 26 Comments

Gratitude even if. Gratitude no matter what.

I have a blogging schedule. I have a marketing plan. Today’s regularly scheduled programming post was planned to be about engagement and marketing and choosing the right words (from the billion-plus we have in our language) that speak to the heart of the people I am here to serve and support.

Then Orlando happened. With a heavy heart I marched candle in hand on Sunday night with other grieving friends and community members. On that day, and since then, I’ve noticed my reaction to the normal sort of marketing emails and posts that have landed up in my inbox and feeds — they feel dissonant to me and haven’t held my attention as usual. The emails and posts that I read and responded to were the ones that were speaking to and about this tragedy.

Sometimes it’s good to step off the regular agenda and take time to stand in and speak to the moment. Today I know in my heart that it’s the right time for me to talk to you from my heart about gratitude even if, and gratitude no matter what.

Which I’m doing with you today.

I will resume talking about engagement, marketing, and business copy writing next time. Today let’s just get grateful together. Please.

Gratitude even if. Gratitude no matter what.

Gratitude even if. Gratitude no matter what.

I’ve had a gratitude practice for a long time. It’s a key part of my spiritual practice. I started writing fifteen items for which I was grateful every day in a journal almost fifteen years ago. Then I started sending my gratitude list in an email to my coach each morning. The circle expanded and I was sending that email to six or seven people every day.

When I started this blog, 800-ish posts ago, it began as a gratitude journal. I shared my daily gratitudes with the world. The blog has evolved in the nearly ten years of its life to be much more about living and being of service in a fully expressed way — integrating your passion, purpose, and prosperity into a seamless, sacred wholeness. But my gratitude practice has never stopped.

gratitude jarThe practice has circled around again to a private one. I write my gratitudes on a piece of paper (varieties of brightly colored origami paper these days) and crumple it up into a little ball and put it in my seemingly bottomless gratitude vase. Today I’m sharing my gratitude with you.

It’s easy to be grateful when things are easy, less challenging, less tragic. When you can tap into your gratitude no matter what is happening to and around you and your business, when you can tap into your gratitude through your tears and your grief, you’ll find a new ability to experience and act from a place of radical acceptance and love.

I am grateful today.

  • I am grateful that so many are safe.
  • I am grateful for the outpouring of love, solidarity, and support that fills my community and the world.
  • I  am grateful to know that grief and compassion are healing emotions.
  • I am grateful even for the anger and that feeling of being done, done, and done! with this violence because that anger spurs me to commitment and to action.
  • [and here come the hard ones] I am grateful that my daughter, who loves guns, and shooting them, does not have an assault weapon (that I know of).
  • I am grateful that my daughter and her partner are alive and safe.
  • I am grateful to know in my heart that my daughter’s path is her own, and that my work is to be a source of unconditional love for her every day.
  • I am grateful even if. I am grateful no matter what.

What prompts your gratitude today, even when grief is present?

What gratitude can you find in your heart? Let’s talk in the comments.

Posted on June 14th, 2016. Posted in these categories: business, compassion, gratitude. 31 Comments

Make and use a Goddess Box — it will hold your wishes and worries

There are many ways to bring the sacred and add ease to your life and your work.

Which is a really good thing because life can be busy and hectic and challenging, making a big toolbag a very nice thing to have.

As I develop the new and upleveled brand for Magnolias West (coming soon!), I’m finding myself stepping over, around, and through any perceived barriers between my spiritual practices and my work. I am refining my offers, as you will soon see, and bringing every Priestess quality I manifest in my life and work to the forefront.

[Inserting a slight side-note here] Just like what happened to the Wizard in the movie, Toto seems to be pulling the curtains back for me as well — more is being revealed to me and through me to you. It’s a bit scary (makes me feel even more tender and vulnerable than usual), and completely the next right thing for me to do in my work, in my being of service. More on this coming soon. Stick around, won’t you? [end of side-note]
Goddess box. It will hold your wishes and your worries.

I teach this in my work, as it’s been taught to me:

You can bring your best and highest — even if it may appear to some to be offbeat and weird — to your business, your work, and every part of your life.

One really good way to Priestess Your Life — to imbue every action with sacred intention — is to make and use a Goddess Box.

What’s a Goddess Box?

The Goddess Box is a container that will hold your wishes and your worries. It’s a way of handing those wishes and worries — could be anything you can’t resolve in this now moment — to the Divine. Doesn’t matter at all what name you use for the Divine — for me it’s Goddess. You might use God, or Allah, or Nature, or Source. Power tip: You don’t even have to believe in any particular kind of spiritual force. Really, just knowing that there’s something else besides you is all the opening you need for the Goddess Box to do its magic.

What this action of naming and then tucking away your wishes and worries gives you is a way to let go of that tortured idea that you have to solve this now — whatever this might be.

This releasing and surrendering idea is central to many spiritual techniques and practices.

  • Eckhardt Tolle calls it “living in the now.”
  • Meher Baba said, “do what you can and then don’t worry, be happy.”
  • Lindsay Wagner said “give what you have to give…and you let God handle the rest.”

Here are some wishes and worries you can put in your Goddess Box and let go of for now.

  • Thoughts about possible future outcomes of all sorts, including money, employment, and health
  • Anxiety about your children (or any family member) and the choices they make (probably accounts for more than 50% of anything I’ve ever given to the Goddess — “Here! you take her; I can’t solve this and I’m scared!”
  • Desire to improve your emotional vocabulary and balance, to be more positive and more loving even if/no matter what.

I’ve used my Goddess Box to:

  • Hold a draft of an angry email or text for three days. Each time I tried this, one of two things happened. Either the anger would dissipate and drift away and I’d forget the whole thing, or I’d take a look three days later and there would be an opening for me to reframe the communication in a more loving way — an opening that absolutely did not exist when I was in the heat of the anger.
  • Hold my desire to take a big trip or buy a big-ticket item when I didn’t have the money to do so. I could relax into that middle place between knowing that the wish wouldn’t be forgotten and trusting that a higher intelligence was sorting out the how and the when.

The Goddess Box is magical.

Your mind rests into the solidity of the gesture of writing down your wish or your worry on a sip of paper and tucking it into your Goddess Box. The restful ease comes from knowing that you don’t have to keep obsessing, that the Divine has got your back on this one.

You’ve written it down, whatever it is. You’ve given it structure. You’ve created sacred space for outcomes to unfold as they are meant to be.

When you add a Goddess Box to your sacred ritualized spiritual practice you add more even more quiet ease and peace to your mind and heart. More easy and peaceful because you won’t be so hung up in your worries; you’ll be more present, and more available to the magic of this now moment and the next.

Of course, you still take actions. You and the Divine, you’re a team. Take the actions, and rest in letting go of the results.

How to make a Goddess Box.

Couldn’t be easier. And it’s fun! Grab a box (I’ve used a shoe box, and I like the little pressboard boxes I can get for $1.99 at the local crafts stores too). Grab decorative bits. I’ve used images from magazines, paints, glitter (of course glitter!), markers, feathers, beads, and more. Set some intention to be shown what this box needs, and go to town. Make it beautiful. And you’re done!
Goddess box info

Or… if you’re going to be in the Bay Area on June 19th, join me for a Goddess Box Creativity Salon in my beautiful backyard on the harbor in Marina Bay.

No more than ten women, I supply all the materials, it will be so much fun. And hella sacred.

Sunday, June 19th, 1:30–5pm, $89 includes materials, $79 early-bird if registered and paid by 6/5/16. Download the info flyer here, or click or tap on the image to the right.

Have you made a Goddess Box? Does you feel called to create one? Tell me…let’s talk in the comments.

Posted on May 31st, 2016. Posted in these categories: Goddess box, Priestess Your Life, ritual, sacred intention. 28 Comments

Website pages — how many and which ones?

What website pages are essential? How many do you use?

Anatomy of a rebrand, part 3

I’m deep in the design process now for the new Magnolias West website. As I started fiddling with the menu (nav) bar, I took a minute to really think about the main nav items, and about what website pages I want to include and which might be eliminate-able.

What website pages are essential? How many do you use?

I really want to simplify the new iteration of my site, for a couple of reasons. This will be my first responsive website* for myself (after designing and developing responsive sites for my clients for the last 18 months), and I’m designing with functionality and ease in mind. In a responsive site viewed on mobile, sidebars appear below the main content, and there can be a lot of scrolling when you’re on an iPhone. So… no sidebars (for now anyway).

Second reason: simplicity for simplicity’s sake. My goal is to keep the text lean, and to embody and manifest the principles of heart-centered empathy-based marketing in as few pages as possible.

Well then, what website pages are essential?

My current Magnolias West website has seven main pages:

  • Home
  • Start Here
  • Who I Am…
  • How It Works
  • Work with Me
  • Blog
  • Connect

As of this moment, the new site will have only five:

  • Home
  • About Me
  • Let’s Work Together
  • Blog
  • Connect

A few words about the pages that are being eliminated

The Start here page. Also known as Is this you? or New here?, this page is a key element in empathy-based marketing. I learned this method of tribe- and practice-building from some amazing teachers, and in a large part from Mark Silver of Heart of Business (who is also the source of the doors and windows magic mentioned below).

The way this teaching has landed in my heart is this: Speak to and about your ideal client before you speak about yourself. Or: Roll out the red carpet for your ideal client so that he or she feels seen, heard, recognized, welcomed, and like they’re in just the right place. The “Start Here” page is a great way to do that.

Notice its placement in the order. It comes after Home and — most critically — before I start talking about myself and my badass expertise.

I’m going to combine what I’d put in a Start here page with my Home page text and see how that works. Hey, it’s WordPress, and there’s plenty of space. I can always add it back.

The How it works page. I have never really felt that this page served my site, as it’s very similar to the page called Work with me. This one is an easy one to drop. And since I’m in a dropping mood (for the sake of simplicity), it’s gone.

Website pages — what order?

Of course, you create your nav menus with a reading order in mind, but there’s no way you can guarantee that your imposed order will be followed. Think about it: Do you ever read a website in order? Of course not. Something will catch your eye. Or you’ll enter from an external link and go on from there.

Knowing this, go ahead and create your website pages in the order you’d like them to be looked at, and then employ this amazing magic trick to increase the odds that your reader will check out the stuff you think is important:

Create doors and windows at the bottom of each page.

Yup, leave easy paths for your reader to follow at the bottom of each and every main page. At the end of the text on each page, add a paragraph that reads something like:

Want to know more? Check out my About page or subscribe to my newsletter.

Keep it to two links — no more. Keep it simple, and trust that by including these doors and windows you’ve added a few inviting and engaging links to those that appear in the menu itself.

That’s it from me today. Now I’d like to hear from you. How did you decide what pages to include in your menu? What do you know that I should? Share your questions and tips in the comments. Blessed be.

*Responsive websites are designed to be read on tablets and phones as well as computers; Google encourages responsive and penalizes non-responsive in search results. Which is a very good reason to upgrade your existing site if it’s not responsive already. You want to be found, right? And yes, I can help. Want to talk?

Posted on May 17th, 2016. Posted in these categories: branding, web design. 20 Comments

Do you see obstacles to your happiness? Who put them there?

What obstacles do you put between yourself and your happiness?

Some wise lessons take a lot of repeating to sink in, and a lot of teachers with a lot of different delivery methods — for me anyway.

I learned this lesson about happiness twice recently: in tai chi class and then again two weeks later from Molly Gordon in her Art of Living class. (Just in case Molly’s class page is down, you can meet her and her beautiful work here.)
What obstacles do you put between yourself and your happiness?

The tai chi lesson

The latest in a long line of ego smackdowns that come with studying an internal martial art.

This happens a lot. I’ve been a tai chi student since 1974. So many opportunities to see (and be shown, in case I’m missing it) my ego in all its sad glory.

There I am, in class, soaking up the too-infrequent feedback and instruction I get from my friend and teacher Greg (who visits twice a year from NYC, who’s known me pretty much this whole time — over four decades) and then I get frustrated and say something like: “Why do I bother even trying to do push hands? My body (and its musculo-skeletal challenges) — I just can’t. I’m too old, too damaged, too sick.”

Greg’s response to me: “You always have some reason that keeps you from fully engaging with what you have, who you’re with, what you’re doing.” I’m paraphrasing the exact words a bit (not the sentiment). I got so mad at him when he said this, and in the time between being angry and realizing just how right he was, I managed to forget exactly how he put it.

Then I realized he was right; I can be so skillful at finding an external circumstance to blame for…anything!

And every story I tell myself gets in the way of my ability to experience happiness now.

  • Losing my balance in tai chi push hands? I must be too old and too injured.
  • Not getting enough attention? I must be an unlovable loser.
  • Still dealing with that persistent digestive issue? I am clearly not trying hard enough.
  • My rebranded, upleveled new website isn’t completed yet? I’m moving too slowly; I’ll never get it all done!
  • Finances are in a shambles? My business revenue is down? I’d better not go to the beach, or the movies, or pretty much anywhere.

You know the kinds of thoughts that come right on the heels of these stories:

  • Resignation: Why bother?
  • Self-pity: Why doesn’t anyone call me?
  • Fear: I seriously don’t think I’ll What’s wrong with me?

The Art of Living lesson

The assignment from the first Art of Living class was to “make a list of all the stories you’ve been living out.” Watching myself write these down as they occurred to me, I realized in a new and deeper way that the content of my stories is just that — content. I realized we all have stories, and while the content is different for each of us at different times, the pain and unhappiness they bring are universal.

  • The content and circumstances of my stories are not what cause me to feel blocked from happiness. That comes from what I end up believing because a story is present.
  • If the stories aren’t telling me “too old, too broken” or “unlovable” or “too lazy” they would be telling me something else. In fact, if I don’t take them too personally, each story is a transformation and growth opportunity.
  • When I can choose to love what is, unconditionally, and let go of the belief that I have to change circumstances, I can be free.

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. — Guillaume Apollinaire

What about you? How do you deal with the stories that dance around inside of you and get between you and your happiness? I’d love to know; let’s talk in the comments.

On another note…

How are you doing with the Retrograde madness?

Mercury just began another retrograde (until May 22), Mars is retrograde (until June 29), and every other planet except Venus is retrograde (or approaching) right now. Are you feeling sped up? Slowed down? Stuck? More problems than usual? I know I’m moving slower than I’d like to. I’m hoping that when Jupiter stations direct next week, things will begin to ease up. I’m hoping. How’s it going for you?

Posted on May 3rd, 2016. Posted in these categories: happiness. 18 Comments