I thought I’d look at where I was a year ago and share a post from then with you. Looks like I was thinking about decluttering then too.
I need many inspiration breaks. This shit is hard!
Instead, since I gotta go pack some more, I’ll leave you with what I’ve collected here.
Share what inspires you or makes you laugh — as you go through your own painful and challenging and just-plain-hard changes.
I’ll see you on the other side! xoxox
It takes a village, yo. I needed (and continue to need) a lot of help to shift here. It’s not easy. I am so skillful at operating from fear and negative projections that it makes it hard for me to let go and embrace compassion enough to begin to shift and change.
Being down for so long helped me shift my priorities from work-work-work to work and wellness and rest and balance. So for over a year now I’ve been revising priorities and working a bit less than I used to, which slowed everything down even more. Even in the humility near-death can bring you, I was still able to find a way to feel fearful about taking care of me first, and then showing up for my business.
First, what became the seed for the topic of this post:
Yes, you may be moving slowly, but remember, glaciers are powerful.
Your new programs are amazing, and it doesn’t matter that it’s taking you longer than you planned to launch them.
Your clients and meant-to-be clients are patient, and loving, and are ready to receive what you offer when you’re ready!
It feels so light and liberating to stand in compassion, to smile at my humanity, and to move on. Flawed and fabulous.
How about you? How are you doing with accepting yourself just as you are — your pace, your products, your offers, your everything? Let’s talk in the comments. Blessed be.
My mind tells me I should do better, know better, be better — I can’t live up to these insane expectations and I disappoint myself over and over again. These expectations do nothing but cause pain.
10. My revenue hasn’t increased to the goal number I set at the beginning of the year.
9. I haven’t launched my Deep Dive retreat yet; it’s written, beta tested, I have rave reviews, and all I need is the sales page, which I cannot seem to put together mid-move. What is wrong with me?
8. I’m reacting to the move with sleeplessness, exasperation, and impatience. I should be handling this so much better. I should be rising above my sadness, regrets, and fear — I teach this stuff!
7. I’m not getting rid of enough stuff as I pack, and I’m certainly not packing fast enough.
6. I’m worried about living with someone after living alone for so long. Many habits will have to change, starting with how I get up in the morning: my tried and true method of setting the stove timer as an alarm which forces me out of bed just won’t work any more, will it?
5. I’m scattered; I’m starting to misplace stuff as I pack. I should be much better at keeping track of stuff even through this major life change.
4. I don’t know how to handle myself around being attracted to someone. I expect myself to be cool and sophisticated. I am so not!
3. Moving to a house with a stove that doesn’t have a power burner and a wok burner means I have moved down in the world.
2. Same stupid story as #3 about moving from these blond bamboo floors to shiny pergo floors.
1. I’m too fat! I certainly should have dropped the extra pounds that have attached themselves to my midsection by now (why yes, even in the middle of a move I always have time to worry about how I look).
My thoughts are inspired by my friend and mentor Molly Gordon. She talks about expectations and how they keep us from being present simply with what is. Her eloquence and grace about this as she traverses her journey of a cancer diagnosis and mastectomy is powerful. You can see a recent video where she talks about this right here.
1. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am healthy. I take excellent care of this body, the vehicle of my consciousness and my loving heart.
2. Pergo floors = easy upkeep, and I don’t have to deal with carpet.
3. I love to cook on gas stoves, and I can make this one work for me.
4. I know how to be transparent and tell the truth, which I am doing and which is being well received.
5. Moving is hard! I am showing up for change and uncertainty and while I may lose track of things as I go, I can keep going.
6. I know I will find a way to wake up without hitting a snooze alarm. I trust myself.
7. I am a well-trained declutterer, and I keep decluttering and releasing as I go, here and in my new home.
8. I am gentle with myself, I take care of myself. I maintain balance and restorative self-loving thoughts and activities. I sleep well.
9. My clients are ready and waiting for me, and the work of the sales page proceeds with ease.
10. I am fed, housed, and my needs are met. I am well compensated for my work, and I thrive.
Jump into the comments; let’s talk!
But I had to tell you. Because when I keep it to myself it just gets bigger. And louder. And worse.
I promised myself to keep this short today and try for a nap as soon as it’s done. I’m tired, and I certainly hope this article is coherent enough to be helpful to you. And of course I’d love to hear from you. Every comment and suggestion is so healing for me.
You may have noticed that, for a while now, I’ve stopped writing my Full and New Moon posts every month. Turning my life inside out and planning this move has made me revisit a lot of my beliefs and routines. Although I still walk with the Moon, I also feel a big expansion in my approach to auspicious days to be grateful, or to be quiet, or to start something, or to end something. When something is ready to be started, or ended, or appreciated, any day is a good day to embrace the energy. Every day is a good day to be grateful. Every day is a good day to be your best self.
I am exploring this apparent contradiction, which doesn’t feel like a contradiction to me at all. You can help me by letting me know what you’d like me to include in my posts. I’ll take your requests into consideration as I continue to unfold and evolve.
This week’s Full Moon is the second Full Moon this month — what is called a Blue Moon. So if you feel it, take a look back and make note of what happened between the two July Full Moons.
I think it will be about three years before the next Blue Moon month, enjoy it!
Yes, I admit it. This journey of moving home and office has been a bit much for my tender diva please-don’t-ask-me-to-change-anything self. Yesterday I got my second load of donated boxes and packing materials and nearly every square inch of my front room is now filled with boxes.
I’ll keep this down to five things (TBH there’s much more than that to choose from!)
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
I did some surrendering. I welcomed each of these dark thoughts, maybe not with laughter (see the poem), but with softening, and was able to shift some of these and welcome the qualities that support my ease, that allow me to be of service.
So precious you, what do you think? Any other labels I should add to my boxes? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Even though I teach this stuff, and even though I understand it completely in theory, until just recently in this adventure of having to move and finding my new home I didn’t see the disconnect between what I know intellectually and how I was behaving. Which in moments of uncertainty (uh, which were pretty much all of my waking moments) found me behaving like an out-of-control ball of stress and fear. Pretty. Not.
I chose to do what I know how to choose, because of course. There’s some kind of comfort for me in my habitual dark side. Instead of operating from knowing knowing knowing that I’m being guided — fear and stress come way too easily to me. In the process of learning to be a spiritual, brave, of-service woman, I have shed lots of resistance (and clearly have many more layers to go). I learned how to affirm my prayers, to ask to be guided. But in the face of uncertainty, spiritual certainty drops away and I lose my grip on the good. Oh Fear! I know you, I know how to hang out with you. So I choose to ignore/forget any affirmation, which immediately causes me to drop my connection to the Divine, and instead I walk around fanning the flames of my negative scenario of the moment. I have plenty of them!
This time, I tried something new. In addition to saying and singing and painting and praying my affirmation daily, and more than once a day:
My perfect house at my perfect price at the perfect time is already chosen and ready for me now. All I need to do is keep walking in its direction.
In addition, I also started compassionately handling my fear and stress. It would still come in. Of course. But instead of freaking out (I’m not supposed to be fearful any more!), which only makes it bigger, or diving into that old dark and grimy neighborhood — the intersection of Stress and Fear — at the expense of everything (see those bullets above), I would welcome them, give them an imaginary little pat, thank them, and then gently move them out of the way so I could keep moving in the direction of my house.
From the time I started this combined method, it was less than 14 days until I was led to my new house and signed the lease. Just sayin’…
There are some things I don’t like. It’s not perfect.
But hey, I could use the quiet and the beauty after 8.5 years of living in a very gritty edgy and unsafe neighborhood.
The lease was signed last night. I move in six weeks or (gulp!) less. The to-do list is already quite long and growing by the minute. I begin packing next week.
Suggestions anyone? How have you done this big life change in a short timeframe and retained your sanity? Talk to me in the comments. Blessed be.