It’s all about gratitude

I am grateful today

I get asked: What’s the point of centering everything — my business development, my sales, my branding work, my coaching practice — in gratitude? That question’s too small. Ask me this instead: What’s the point of grounding my entire life, every moment, in gratitude? Now we have something to talk about!

I ground my life in gratitude.

Look. Here. It’s simple. I’ve changed a lot since I started expressing gratitude for everything on a regular basis over ten years ago. That’s what a gratitude practice does. It changes you. On the outside, circumstances have changed (that’s what they do, yo). But on the inside, I have changed (and everyone I know is so relieved!) — I have learned how to dwell in stillness, respond from love, and be generous. So much more useful and tolerable than the years I led with the napalm, moved through life with my own personal black cloud over my head, and stood with one leg regretting the past and the other leg fearing the future. Which left me pissing all over the present moment.

Exactly.

thankyouheartToday I’m going to share some gratitude with you, from a few of the areas of my life.

Here goes.

  • I am grateful that I have a 7/8 full coaching practice today. I have seven coaching clients, for the first time. For a few years after I started my practice ten years ago, I had just one coaching client. I knew every thing about her and I am certain that I was way too invested in the details of her life. The poor woman! And she’s my client still. That’s a miracle in itself. But the gratitude I’m feeling right now is that I have had a wish fulfilled. I used to wish that someday I’d have enough clients that I wouldn’t have the particulars of their lives at my fingertips. And that’s the case now. In fact, the client notes spreadsheet I started keeping a couple of years ago holds the details I need to go back to when I’m in conversation with each client. And the rest of the time I’m freed to hold their highest good in my heart when I think of them and send energy their way, a prayer that really has nothing to do with facts and circumstances.

  • I am grateful for learning what was an elusive lesson for me: to appreciate what I have in this now moment. I am that woman, the one who turned to a beloved friend at a birthday party I threw for myself, in a house full of 20 or so women, each of whom had shown up for me, and said with a sigh, “Nobody came.” The look on her face, complete with eyeroll, preceded a deserved response, “What am I, chopped liver?”

    Yup. That was a turning point for me (about sixteen years ago, I am such a slow learner!). Since then, I have adopted a new radical way of being, and it has a motto: Thrive where you’re planted. Which means letting go of my deathgrip on the yearning for what I don’t have, letting go long enough to foster appreciation for that which has been gifted to me. This. Now. This now moment is my gift. It is what I have been given to experience. Learning to like and appreciate what is changes everything. Thrive where you’re planted has turned me into a person who accepts invitations and shows up to them. This is different. It’s different from angling for invitations and then not going, because why would I go anywhere where I was wanted? If you want me, you deserve the contempt in which I held myself. Oy!

    Another big difference goes back to that party. I have learned how to actively love and appreciate the people who are here, present, with me now. Instead of kicking them to the curb so I could yearn in painful solitude for the unavailable one or ones. How it went, for so many years, and two marriages: If you are available to me, you’re toast. Instead I shone my love light into the sector where the attractive-simply-because-they’re-not-available folk hang out. Pitiful. And still painful to reveal this, but hey, as my mother always said as she was brushing out the tangles in my hair, “It hurts to be beautiful.”

  • I am very grateful for the ease and love of my birthday getaway. I invited my daughter and she brought three friends. My sister and a friend of mine came. We went to Harbin Hot Springs where clothing is most definitely optional. I could have worried a lot about how the younger of us (the four in their 20s) would deal with my nudity, and the nudity all around them. I could have started tripping about my sister and my friend and how they’d get along. I didn’t.

    Wait. I’m lying a little bit. I did in fact worry. But I didn’t get stuck there. Instead I was able to turn away from my mind and my thoughts. (Yes it’s true, just as they taught me in Brooklyn early in my 12-step recovery. When you’re alone with your mind, you’re in a bad fucking neighborhood.) I’ve learned how to escape from that neighborhood by sinking into my heart, by opening my heart in humble invitation, by allowing myself to connect to the always present love and mercy and compassion and insight and clarity of the Divine. By claiming trust, and love, and joy. Grabbing on to these attributes pushes the fear and resentment to the side, making room for what I really really want in the first place.

    I had a wonderful time. From what I could see, so did everyone else. Yay for getting out of the way of the good.

So, beautiful? What are you grateful for? I’d love to know. Talk to me.

Leave a comment below, and let’s have a conversation!

 

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Sue

I’m a barely tamed hippie, sage, seasoned, sarcastic (not all the time any more, but still). I’m a mom, a daughter, sister, a neighbor, and a friend. I’ve been on this meandering journey — like you, probably — seeking a better connection to and experience of peace, harmony, and fun in every bit of life. I’m single, quite good at it, and mostly love it. I’m here for the conversations I get to have with you, which these days center on exploring the mystery and beauty of life, work, health, aging, and creative expression. Want to know a little more about me and my journey? Explore the site. Read the blog. Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

Join the conversation!

  1. *soft smile* – oh, Sue, I feel so freaking BLESSED (and grateful!) to know you and get to hang around and learn from your wisdom! Right now, in addition to that gratitude, I’m feeling grateful for the dinner I just got to eat with my husband, the remainder of the glass of wine that’s sitting beside me as I write, and the fact that — WOOHOOO! — I got enough signups for my Holiday Survival Plan class to go ahead with it. Thank you, Universe — more please 🙂 Blessings TANJA  

    • Tanja, congratulations on the signups! Yay!

      Thanks so much for playing in this sandbox with me. I’m grateful for you. xoxox

      Sue
       

  2. Blessings to you Sue!  I know what you mean about a coaching practice being a bit thin on the ground – I’ve been there too a few times in the last decade!  😀  I love how gratitude has changed your life.

    Today I am grateful that I had the time to be there for a client who needed me; I am grateful for the heater warming my poor cold tootsies; and I am grateful for inspirational women all over the world sharing their stories, making me smile and warming my heart.  <3

  3. Lovely blog post, Sue! I loved that birthday story and how it came full circle for you. 

    I’m very grateful for a money archetypes VIP session I was gifted last week, and which already brought about new changes in my life…including a new client, and lots of new confidence in having money conversations. 

    Thank you! 

    • Holly, thanks! How lovely to see the opening the money archetypes work is bringing you, congrats! I love how that works. 🙂

      Love and blessings,
      Sue
       

  4. Sue, you made me chuckle and brought tears to my eyes. I love your sense of humour and your honesty !  And so happy for you that you had a wonderful birthday treat with people who love you ! (that’s a blessing indeed). I’m grateful that I had a lovely evening of chat and laughter with a new friend last night and am grateful for tuna pasta bake (such a simple dish to make, and my normally very fussy eater of a daughter just scoffed a mountain of it!)  But it is delish! 🙂

    • Ann, thanks so much for taking the time to comment. Means so much to me!

      Glad your daughter found something to like in your kitchen. I remember it so well with my own kid, who never ever ever liked 90% of what I prepared!

      Glad you’re in my life, so glad.

      Love and light,
      Sue
       

  5. So grateful I saw this Post I am stepping out into the great unknown and feeling wings though I have never flown. I am about to soar in a very big way its really not about me I finally get that and that is why I am not afraid to shine anymore. I am thankful I can be a voice for abused animals and help create a No-Kill Nation for shelter animals giving them a second chance is a blessing. I am grateful that I get to teach mindfulness to kindergarten children my dreams are all coming true because I AM KINDNESS ansd COMPASSION I AM what I have been looking for.

    • What a lovely and evocative image, Karen. I can just see those wings!

      Bless you for the work you do.

      Love and light,
      Sue
       

  6. Sue, Gratitude, as I say, opens the doors to abundance and I know that feeling about coaching 🙂 Today I am grateful that I finally have clarity on my business direction, I am grateful for my creativity, that I celebrated 25 years of love with Des, that the sun is shining, right now for Oprah and Deepak’s 21 day meditation. And thanks for asking as I needed to restart my daily gratitude. Love to you and I am grateful I have met you and we will meet in person one day ♡

    • Happy anniversary, Suzie (and Des)!

      I’m grateful we have connected as well. Funny how deeply connected I can feel with someone I’ve yet to meet face-to-face. Hooray!

      Blessings and love,
      Sue

  7. meant to say  i drew the ground yourself oracle card today , thanks- yes i often feel a closer bond with my online friends than i do with offline friends- i meet more like minded people online. 

    • Suzie, I know, and I have so much gratitude to Jodi and other community-makers who have connected me to you and other passionate changemakers!
       

  8. GREAT Post. Gratitude is so important. What we appreciate – appreciates. What we unappreciate – depreciates. Simple math. Goes back to the saying: “Use it or lose it!” I am grateful for you sharing this and being “here” In love and gratitude

  9. Sue, I absolutely love your “Thrive where you’re planted” motto! Thank you for sharing this beautiful and honest post. It definitely got me feeling inspired. I’m grateful for all your wisdom!! 

    • Rhoda, thanks. Thrive where you’re planted has been such a big help for me. It has eased that years-long desperation to be anywhere else, with anyone else, doing anything else, besides where, who and what was in front of me in this now moment.

      Oy! I was raised by miserable wolves! Hooray for transformation.

      Love and light,
      Sue
       

  10. Brilliant post, Sue, and a funny, poignant reminder to be (more than) okay with whatever presents, each and every moment. I’m so grateful right now to have time between my housesits to visit my wonderful family and reconnect with a very dear friend; I’m grateful that living in poverty has taught me what’s really important to me; I’m grateful for the connections I’m making online to inspiring and loving people like you; and I’m grateful for sunshine (which is quite rare in Wales 🙂 )

    Big Love to you <3

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