Here comes my solar return
(Solar return, aka birthday, one more turn around the Sun)
And here I am, answering a clear, defined, and strong inner calling.
This is different; I don’t usually hear a calling. Maybe I have in the past, but I didn’t have the ability to understand what I was hearing enough to actually get off my ass and get started on the thing.
What comes after hearing a calling? Acting on it, with love, self-compassion, commitment, and gusto! Gulp. Here we go.
It feels like I’m standing on a precipice, and luckily it’s more exciting than scary.
Legacy is much on my mind, and has been for a while. Inspired by a post by Hiro Boga last year in which she named how much time she has left to serve, I have been listening for the answers to what feel like big and important questions for me now:
- What can I leave behind that will nourish, teach, and inspire my own child and all those whose life I’ve gotten to touch?
- What projects should I begin now that will serve my desire to spread more love, peace, and joy?
- How do I want to show up from this moment, deep in the third third of my life?
- Where will my next home be, where I can thrive and serve?
- Who will be my neighbors, collaborators, playmates, co-conspirators, and beloveds?
Just like for Hiro, these questions (and their many variations) have been with me for decades. Sometimes I’ve felt guided, sometimes I’ve stumbled around blind to the divine guidance that has brought me to what’s next, and through rough spots, over and over again.
My journey of the last two or three years, in which I’ve begun to see myself and my life with much more compassion and negligible judgment (now that’s new!), has made it possible for me to see and hear more, and differently. And to process the information I receive differently. Now that I’m not so busy in my head, it seems as if I’ve softened into someone who can hear the whispers of the Divine and the yearnings of my heart, which makes me happier than ever to oblige my daughter’s simple request to gather all my creations in one place to leave for her (which has morphed into the book I seem to be writing).
Here’s where I find myself as my birthday approaches, arms open, heart open, and eyes wide.
(Okay, that last one about my wide eyes is coming from that part of me that sees all this like a giant, daunting undertaking, but I’m moving forward anyway):
I am entering into The Year of the Book and The Year of Getting My Products to Market.
(Wow! Now I’ve told you, now it’s feeling even real-er.)
I have begun both of these endeavors.
For the book, I’m collecting my stories.
I’m writing it all down, and putting it into one place (a Scrivener file). I’ve scheduled my first conversation with a potential collaborator. I think I’ll need me one of those, because I have no idea how this book of mine will come together, woven as it will be with my stories, recipes, life hacks, inspirational bits, and a good dose of what would have made up my stand-up career had I even been brave enough to get in front of a mic.
I’m morphing into someone who can start something daunting (instead of stopping before I begin).
Just like many previous projects, this book will never come to be if I let my fear of what I don’t know stop me; I trust this now (never could before). First things first, yo. I’m collecting my stories….
For my products, I have begun a painful metamorphosis.
Kitchen witchery won’t cut it any more. The regulatory agencies demand an entirely different approach to medicine making from the one I was taught and have used for decades. I learned how to whip up remedies and beauty products from what’s on hand (in the cupboards). Now I’m upping my game. In order to have a replicable, scalable, and (most importantly) testable formula, I’m embarking on creating formulas that will support this endeavor.
It’s hard work — very hard work for a gal who uses intuition as much as numbers for her healing magic, but the idea of bringing my products for women in the third third of life to market lights me up so much that I’m giving it my best.
Imagine walking into wherever you might buy legal cannabis, and seeing Happy Hoo-Hah (a body butter that restores folds and moisture to atrophied vaginal tissue and heals hemorrhoids), Shine Your Light serum (restores light and brightness to faces that have been around the block a time or two), and Magic Spot pain roll-on (that soothes and easy ouch-y spots). All made with fair trade, organic, food-grade ingredients. Yeah. Powerful.
The Year of the Book and Products begins November 12th, after I get back from my birthday celebration at Orr Hot Springs.
Time to get a bit real-er with you.
There is a bunch I don’t know.
- I don’t know if I have another full year in me. Not my business to know.
- I don’t know if I can pull it off. The book or the products. Also not my business.
- I don’t know if something is waiting around the next bend that will make all of this no longer the right thing to do.
Despite the weight of everything I can’t possibly know now, I am so here for this.
I’m all in. I’m all the way in. Unless and until things change.
We can work together during this year of creation and legacy.
I know that I’ll be doing a ton of research, development, and creation, but that’s not all that I’m calling in. I’m holding some time open on my schedule to work 1:1 with a handful of clients, because the input I get from my clients inspires me to continue doing the work I do in solitude, in my beautiful office, studio, and lab (that would be the kitchen).
While I may not have the bandwidth to take on a ton of big projects, these one-off calls I’ve created are easy to book and offer a ton of goodness in a short amount of time. I named them Intro Calls, but really, they’re a deep dive into whatever you’ve got going on.
The investment is less than $100, and you get 90 minutes of my best listening, resources, and inspiration (of which I have plenty!). You can use this as often as you like, or we may end up co-creating a series of calls or a design/writing collab.
Thanks as always for being here, for reading, for letting me know what you think, and for going deeper when the time is right for you.