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The staycation I never planned on….

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I sliced my finger open on Sunday. Doing something I knew I shouldn’t do. And not for the first time.

The perfect combination: Me (a good but distractible chef), newly sharpened knives, and streaming video on my tablet….

The knife slid right across the pad of my ring finger. A big deep cut. I hear that fingertips are full of nerve endings and super sensitive. I believe it.

I know myself, so I ask the knife sharpener: “Don’t go them all the way; stop at about 80%.” This always gets a raised-eyebrow glance in response. So I describe my past stupidities and ask the knife-whisperer to back off from going all the way. This time — my request was no help. Even knocking 20% off the target bevel made my Japanese cleaver sharp enough to slice like buttah through potatoes, Brussels sprouts, and my fingertip. [Read more…]

Be the light you already are

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Hibernation season, Solstice time.

This is the time when the light we get to see and bask in is thin, and there ain’t much of it. Yet the wonders that shine in this thin and meager light are many.

Everything contains the seed of its apparent opposite.

The light in the darkness. Life in what looks like death.

Maybe it’s the stark contrast. Seed pods so beautiful against bare branches. Dreary cold days and these amazing armored containers filled with the imperative to survive, live, and thrive. [Read more…]

What if you don’t have to believe that any more?

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What if you don’t have to believe those stories you tell yourself any more?

Think of the stuff that you believe about yourself. Most of it’s not really friendly or useful, right?

Some of the stories I have believed about myself (and these are just my examples — your mileage may certainly vary):

  • Of course it’s hard for me to let someone in, to be intimate and vulnerable — because I’m a rape survivor.
  • I can’t really connect in community; I have to hold myself back — because I was in a cult for over 20 years and I have to be careful about masters looking for disciples.
  • I don’t have what it takes to feel healthy and vital again — because some physical conditions have hung on long enough that I believe they’re permanent.

[Read more…]

Life as it is. What are you waiting for?

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Part of my habitual programming has me judging my circumstances as wanting.

Most of the time it’s an unending chorus of “Not enough. Never enough.”

In case this isn’t clear, here’s one of the ugly voices that pipes up in my head on the reg: “Please give me what I don’t have. Preferably a lot. Preferably yours. And keep it coming. Forever.”

Yes, I have thinking like this. You do too, right?

Waiting for things to change before you can [fill in the blank] takes up a lot of your time and energy. Who has time to even consider taking action now, when there’s so much to do first? [Read more…]

What’s a spark of insight? How can you tell?

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The spark of insight.

I welcome every single spark of insight.

I’m having plenty of them these days, which is a relief, because if I wasn’t open to receive — to see, to notice, to hear, to recognize — insights, I would be stuck in a seriously painful pile of crap. A suckstorm, if you will. A suckstorm of symptoms and flareups that have me functioning and operating these days inside small bursts of energy, interspersed with a significant amount of self-care and naps. [Read more…]

In this liminal, in-between moment

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Ask. And listen. In this liminal time…

There’s a drive to get quiet and listen in winter’s darkness.

A drive to name your intentions for the coming year. To resolve. To find your theme, or word for 2018. It’s a liminal, in-between time, between the Solstice and the upcoming time of new and fresh beginnings. There’s much magic in this dark time.

Heed the call, and listen. 

  • What sparks are alive in you? They will guide your choice of actions to take.
  • Where is your inner light shining? This will help you heal and release unresolved crap that’s holding you back.
  • What are you called to begin? And what needs to simmer a bit longer? This will help you keep things manageable.

[Read more…]

Remind me tomorrow.

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Remind me tomorrow.

A phrase familiar to Mac users, I know.

Thoughts about upgrading my own operating system.

I’ve been working with a hypnotherapist for some time now. She records her hypnosis sessions with me, and I play them often as I’m falling asleep (hypnosis talks to the subconscious, right?).

When the time came for my latest session, I found myself saying I wanted to go deeper. So far, I’ve used hypnosis to support the way I’ve been handling the many changes that have come my way this year (and show no sign of slowing down).

I wanted something bigger.

I know about changes and circumstances — we all have them, we all get them.

We all have a plate. You know, that plate that everyone says there’s too much on! “I have too much on my plate.” We all get a plate. [Read more…]

Whispers in the Silence | Reclaim Resilience

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Quiet but important insights become audible when you settle down and listen to the whispers.

When you quiet down enough you can hear the whispers, and experience more clarity and ease as a result.

Whispers. Some call it intuition. Or that still small voice inside. Or your gut. Easy to ignore in the hustle and bustle of most moments. Because they’re whispers.

A Dumb Supper is a way to honor your beloved dead and tune into those whispers as you go. 

The veils between the worlds are thin this time of year, it’s said in my tradition, which makes it a time in which you can more easily connect and commune with your ancestors.

You can find comfort in the connection (whether whispers or shouts). And in the silence, you might be surprised at what you hear. Whispers. [Read more…]