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Suicide, forgiveness, and truth

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In the aftermath of last week’s celebrity deaths by suicide…

It’s said that there are almost 45,000 suicides a year in the United States (2016 statistics).

That rate is up 25% from 1999. Quite a sobering growth rate.

Kate Spade, Tony Bourdain, and about 865 additional deaths by suicide last week in the United States alone.

I feel connected to those whose names I know and whose names I don’t; I’ve had my own dark moments of thinking — of believing! — that checking out would be the best way to get away from my tormented painful thinking about painful disappointments and failures. [Read more…]

Asking for help is a spiritual journey

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First you have to be willing to ask

(If you’re in a hurry you can skip directly to my “Housing Wanted” listing further down the page by clicking here. Warning fair (as the emcee sings in “Cabaret”: If you do, you’ll miss out on some really good stuff!)

Let me tell you about what happened on the Solstice.

My daughter Rose (the photographer of the images here) spent the night Saturday so we could get up early and do some tidepooling at Fitzgerald Preserve (there are always very low tides around the Solstices). I woke up even earlier than I planned, inspired to put together some supplies for a ritual in the Cypresses just up the hill from the beach.

I raided my stashes of magical supplies. I painted rocks and feathers red and gold. I cut some red and gold cords, and pulled red and gold strands of Mardi Gras beads. Six of everything.

(I even dressed in red and gold as you can see in the photo.)

Rose and I split the stash and each walked alone “Solstice bombing” the grove, stating our prayers, wishes, requests, and intentions with each item we left behind. We placed rocks on the ground and feathers in the tree bark. We tied cords to tree trunks and wove the beads around fence posts and bench slats.

With everything I placed, I asked for help. I asked to be led to my next beautiful home. I asked for clarity. I asked for ease. I asked to be released from fear and struggle.

Be willing to be led.

And now I get to ask you!

When asking for help, it’s a good practice to always ask the Divine first.

Right? Think about it. Everything you do when you have a conscious contact with Source goes better than when you don’t.

As it says in the Kabbala: “Beside every blade of grass is an angel saying “Grow, grow, grow.”

What’s your experience like with asking for help? I’d love to know; please leave a comment below.

Asking for help is a powerful gift

Here’s the text of the listing that I am will be linking to as I post my “Housing Wanted” everywhere. At least it’s the listing as I know it to be so far. Ideas keep coming to me, and I certainly don’t want to leave anything out! I will be updating here as things change. Here we go:

Help me find my next home

Housing wanted:

I am a positive, healthy, responsible, loving, and heart-centered business coach and branding/web designer looking for my next amazing live/work situation and I think you might be able to help me find it! Please take 5 minutes to read through my post and share with me any ideas, leads, suggestions and referrals that come up for you. And of course pass this on if you know of someone who might have an opening or know of one!

What I’m looking for

  • A place where I can feel at home, where I can feel safe, and where I can thrive
  • A sweet home in the East or North Bay where I can live and work, and which I can cherish and care for, in a long-term rental relationship. A house, a cottage, an in-law, an awesome apartment….?
  • An open and friendly environment. Respectful. Drama-free. Quiet(ish) neighbors.
  • Ideal locations: Oakland (where I live now), Berkeley, Emeryville, Alameda in the East Bay; Sebastopol, Cotati, Petaluma in the North Bay. That’s my list of desired locations, but I can go pretty much anywhere for an ideal situation — especially to a good walking neighborhood.

The things that really call to me in a home:

Some of these are must-haves, some are nice-to-haves; a good combination will light me up and have me signing a rental agreement as fast as possible!

  • wood floors
  • a gas stove
  • dishwasher
  • W/D or hookups
  • 1+ bedrooms (an alcove or additional room for my office)
  • some outside space (for grilling and a bit of gardening)
  • lots of light
  • offstreet parking and a porch would be nice
  • a garage or other ample storage

I don’t know what combination of features will combine to create the home I choose. What I do know is that I can have what I want even if I don’t know what it all looks like.

More about me

  • The spiritual energy where I live will be high. I meditate and do yoga and I am primed to fervently love my home.
  • I run an online business from home (as you can see from the other pages on this website — you can read even more about me here). I serve women changemakers and healers by supporting them with branding, web design, and sharing their magic in the world. I rarely (maybe twice a year, if that) see clients in my home.
  • I’m a loving, caring, amazing woman with a lot to give.
  • I am mature (mid-60s), healthy, positive, responsible, and I take exquisite care of myself and my home and office. I don’t smoke, drink, or take drugs.
  • I work from home, so I’ll be around a lot, and wonderful nourishing and nurturing cooking and fermenting (kombucha, sauerkraut) will be taking place every day.
  • I only use earth-friendly ingredients to clean; you can count on your home being lovingly tended with no chemicals in sight. And I never leave dishes in the sink.
  • I’m open to living alone and I’m open to living with another heart-centered, amazing woman.
  • I’m looking for a great situation — I trust that there is an infinite number of situations inside of which I could be happy.

Some ways this might manifest

  • Finding a place on my own
  • Finding a housemate and looking together (or living together in an established share situation — maybe your housemate just moved out?)
  • Moving in with someone who has “too much house” — ideally an in-law or granny space
  • Or…maybe something I haven’t even thought of? Your ideas are welcome!

Why am I moving?

This place I rent — where I’ve lived and worked for over eight years — is being sold by my landlady to her family. I am negotiating a timeline and buyout with her right now; it looks like I have the rest of this year to move but the terms of the buyout make it better for me to leave as quickly as I can. I’m looking now and will be ready to move by August 31, 2015.

So here’s my ask:

Now that you know what I’m looking for, do any leads, suggestions, or referrals come up for you? Please get in touch and I will follow up! (510) 698-6245. Or even better: email. And send pictures if you can!

Thank you!

The Full Moon in Virgo — reason meets spirituality

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Every Full Moon is a culmination point

What have you created and completed since the last New Moon?

How have you manifested your creativity and your passion since the New Moon? The Full Moon is the time to celebrate what you have created, completed, and launched. It’s an auspicious moment to express gratitude for what has blossomed and borne fruit from the seeds you planted at the previous New Moon, make note of what is still left to do, and to set your intentions for the coming lunation.

Full Moon in Virgo — where reason meets spirituality

How does the nourishing healing spirit of this Full Moon show up for you?

Full Moon in Virgo

Thursday, March 5th
14º50′ Virgo
10:05 am Pacific
1:05 pm Eastern

The Virgo Full Moon is the last Full Moon before the Equinox. Virgo brings healing, nurturing, and organizing energy. Decluttering and spring cleaning starts to be a thing in the northern hemisphere around this time. I’m guessing that in the southern hemisphere the Virgo New Moon six months later (when you approach Spring) will bring the same impulse. Let me know if I’m right.

  • You may find yourself moved to declutter — the Virgo Full Moon is a great time for cleaning out closets and donating to a meaningful charity or friends-in-need. Go for it!

    In addition to recycling, or donating, though, I invite you to consider repurposing. Could that beautiful silk shirt that got stained be cut up and used in a quilt? Or those boots that are too old to wear could be made into planters!

  • Use the nurturing Virgo energy to take exquisite care of yourself, your business, and your loved ones. Complete what you started, get organized, and dive into the details. I always schedule my tax preparation in the two weeks following this Full Moon. Luckily I have an accountant that can handle receiving my numbers late in March!

  • Speaking of exquisite self-care, you may feel called to cleanse or purify in some way. Remember, this is the Full Moon where reason meets spirituality. Are you called to do something out of the ordinary for your beautiful body which is the vehicle of your consciousness? Or does it appear differently for you: Are you moved to release something in your business that just isn’t working out the way you’d planned? What is that loving voice in your heart whispering to you?

Suggestions for a Full Moon ritual

There’s a strong sense of freedom in this Full Moon.

  • Place something in your altar space to help you remember to cut the ties to what is holding you back. A broken piece of chain, a scissor, or a knife might do nicely.
  • Spend time in the light of the Moon, if you can. Write a gratitude list. And make note of your intentions. What will you complete? What will you release?
  • Celebrate! The Jewish festival of Purim, and the last of the Lunar New Year celebrations happen now. Join the fun or make some of your own.

Let me know how you go. What questions arise for you? Where is letting go easy? Where is it a challenge? Let’s talk in the comments.

Five spiritual practices that help you be your best self

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The Five Yamas

Lessons from the yoga mat

The Yamas are one of the spiritual practices I learned about in yoga. The Yamas, when practiced with intention, add to your groundedness and balance, allowing you to live in peace, good health and harmony with yourself and your world.

5-yamas

I talk about spiritual neuroscience a lot

Spiritual neuroscience teaches how negative behaviors became habits by repetition, which is the good and the not-so-easy-to-take news. The good news: Once you start repeating intentionally positive behaviors, you can actually create new patterns and habits that will eventually replace the old. The other news: It can be so challenging to begin to let go of the behaviors you used to protect yourself early in your life. It can feel so tender and so uncomfortable when you start making these changes. You are not alone. Your heart knows your true essence, trust your heart. Remembering the good news will it easier for you to make each effort willingly — one thought, one word, one action at a time. It will pay off. I’m living proof. (You can read other articles I’ve written about neuroscience here, here, and here.)

I like to look at spiritual practices for transforming consciousness through many different lenses.

I recently learned about the five Yamas (and their sister practices the Niyamas, which I’ll come back to in another post, if you find this one useful), in a yoga class, of course. The Yamas are described as universal, and outer-oriented, in the teachings. But what I really like is applying each principle from the inside out. How am I treating myself? First I look at my relationship to myself, and when that is in balance, then I can apply the same principles to my family, friends, community, clients, colleagues — in ever-expanding ripples, to my world.

Let’s look at these spiritual practices as the gentle and powerful internal shift-makers they can be

  • Ahimsa — compassion, doing no harm. Remember that your own sovereign, sacred, essential self is the same one you honor in the people you love and serve. When you say “Namaste” at the end a yoga class, recognize the internal Divine in yourself first. When a client wants to do forgiveness work, I tell her to begin by first seeing herself at peaceful and content, to visualize herself as healed and forgiven before she extends that same prayer outward.
  • Satya — truthfulness. How do you describe yourself to yourself? How do you talk to yourself? When you are harsh, and judgmental, you are thinking and speaking from fear, resignation, disappointment, and bitterness. Start by changing the way you talk to and about yourself. Cut yourself the same slack you freely give a loved one. Be your own loved one. Try this: imagine putting your arm around yourself with love and compassion. Then speak the real truth, the one that reminds you that you are a child of the Divine.
  • Asteya — non-stealing. More than just about the tangible, we can look even deeper. What old feelings of deprivation and entitlement drive you to be out of balance in your relationship with yourself and with your world? Are you demanding more time from friends, loved ones, and teachers than you really need? Reclaim your balance with gratitude and generosity. Express gratitude, daily, and give of your time, your treasure, and your talents. Stretch yourself: share a little more gratitude and give a little more of what you have than you think you possibly could; that little bit more is a powerful healing.
  • Bramacharya — moderating the senses, lack of excess. What keeps you from standing in your sovereignty? One place to look is at your excesses. Are you living in balance, or are you manifesting addictive behaviors so much that you can’t feel the ground under your feet? Start here: Choose your media wisely: what you read, what you watch. Make intentional choices about what you eat, and about the people in your life. Moderation opens the way to a more mindful and balanced life.
  • Aparigraha — absence of greed. When we enjoy what we have with equanimity, without grasping too tightly, we are manifesting this quality. How is your balance here? Do you take the same care of others’ possessions as you do your own? Do you hold on so tightly that you lose the ability to release what no longer serves you? Are you trying to get others to love you so you can feel better about yourself? If you tend to hold on too tightly, step back and let go a little. If you are afraid to show up and claim what’s yours, take a slightly firmer grip. Find your balance.

So, beautiful, what do you think? How are you folding these spiritual practices into your own life? Let me know in the comments. Blessed be!

In honor of Samhain…

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Beannacht (Blessing)

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

—John O’Donahue (via Joanna Powell Colbert)

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A powerful season! Ancestors and a healing Full Moon

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A little about grief

When my mother died, I found myself clinging to the idea that the grief would lessen in intensity, bit by bit, and after some time would leave, or transmute to some less painful nostalgia, or memories. Instead this is what I found: Grief is a spiral.

“For in grief nothing ‘stays put.’ One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always occurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?” —C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

This is not bad news, far from it. It’s beautiful and welcome news. Because it means that our beloved dead are only as far away as our thoughts and love and memories. As I was taught in my spiritual tradition,

What is remembered, lives

Here we are, as the days continue to darken, in the season when the veils between the worlds get thinner. This is the time of the turning of the year when you may be more aware than usual of your beloved dead, when you may be feeling with unexpected poignancy that grief that you thought had diminished.

Our modern American celebration of Halloween has its roots in this season of awareness of and respect for our ancestors, most directly derived from Samhain (Celtic, pronounced sow-in). Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead, Mexican) also falls at the end of October/early November.

Make an ancestors altar

This upcoming week is prime time to do some ancestor devotion.

Gather photos of your departed, and things that were theirs, that are now cherished by you (I have my grandmother’s button box and my mother’s scissors and ancient thread collection), and any other images or totems that feel right. On my ancestors altar I have a ceramic skull and a whole slew of Day of the Dead figures (they represent my parents and grandparents). I also have a couple of raven images, and beautifully decorated candle holders (with skulls and bones, of course).

The altar is ever-changing. People I love continue to pass, which prompts me to add some token to my altar to represent them. And this year I’m adding a veil of black mesh to my altar, to slightly obscure the photos and artifacts, as well as a vial of graveyard dirt, just because.

I would say the ideal window for honoring your beloved dead is anytime between Monday the 29th (the day of the Full Moon, more on that below) and Friday the 2nd (when Day of the Dead is celebrated)—which is a five-day window straddling Halloween. In the darkness (of course) light a candle or two. You could leave a food offering (something you know the person loved, or some tasty seasonal tidbit) on a black or white plate (some like to use broken crockery). Or pour some of your ancestor’s favorite beverage and leave it in front their picture. Have some of the food and beverage yourself, share a meal.

Expressing love and gratitude in words, or song, or a poem is also powerful. Find a way to let your ancestors know you’re here and honoring them.

What’s your ancestors-honoring practice?

What makes you feel connected? Please share what works for you in the comments.

 

We also have the beautiful Taurus Full Moon

Monday 10/29 (12:40 pm PDT). What a powerful week!

The Taurus Moon represents healing, and manifestation and security. Taurus, the Bull, is the fixed earth sign, sensuous, tenacious and consistently seeking security. When you bring commitment and clear intention to your actions, whatever you begin will have a stable foundation and, while it may get off to a slow start, can certainly build momentum that will make it hard to stop.

The Taurus Moon opposes the Sun in Scorpio. Scorpio, the fixed water sign, keeps its magic and power well hidden, like a deeply buried treasure.

Scorpio and Taurus are strong and capable of huge commitment and passion. They both loved sensual and sexual pleasure, and both are powerful abundance signs.

Whatever you put your committed intention to during Monday’s Full Moon is going to have a lot of power and potential behind it. What’s your powerful intention for your business? For your life?

A suggestion for a Full Moon working

On Sunday night, put a pitcher of clear water and some rocks or crystals out under the sky, somewhere where the light of the Moon will shine upon them, and leave them all night long. This way the energy of the Full Moon will charge the rocks and water as you sleep.

As close to 12:40 pm Pacific on Monday as you can (or any time during the Full Moon window of Sunday to Tuesday), put the stones in a bowl and pour the charged water over them. Visualize yourself, your family, your community, and the whole world bathed in the purity of this water, and grounded in happiness, healing and abundance by the stones. With some of the water on your hands, anoint your forehead, your lips, your heart. Feel the peace and healing settling in you and radiating out to the entire planet. With your hands shaping a big moon above you, below you, in front and behind you, envision this peace and healing expanding and expanding with your prayer for transcendant purity and abundance.

What a perfect working to do the week before the U.S. elections!

I’d love to know how your Full Moon/ancestors week goes. Please let me know in the comments. Love!

 

Decluttering as spiritual practice—how to get unstuck

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From the archives: This post was originally published on May 12, 2011. Since it’s proved so popular, and since I’m in the midst of a fierce passionate round of decluttering myself, I thought I’d update this story and send it out again for those of you who might not have seen it yet.
—Love and light, Sue

What’s spiritual about decluttering, anyway?

Yes, decluttering as spiritual practice is a thing!

There’s a tangible relationship between decluttering and manifesting the life we desire. When we’re blocked by too much *stuff* we get stuck. Ideas and visions remain wishful and theoretical. We can’t see a clear path to what we want. We may not even be able to clearly define what we want, let alone go after it. Decluttering—cleaning up our act physically, mentally, and emotionally—frees us from those stuck places and helps us get into action.

Maybe you think clutter is just the physical things that pile up around us. It’s more than that. The *stuff* is simply the external, easy-to-see manifestation of how we’ve become cluttered in other areas of life.

What else can clutter look like?

  • projects and dreams swirling about in your head, unstarted or incomplete
  • tolerations in your life (a promotion promised and postponed, a leaky faucet, physical pain…)
  • unhealthy, unfulfilling relationships
  • addictive behaviors
  • victim thoughts and mental chaos

clutterClutter, in any of its manifestations, has a negative impact on our energy, our attitude and our effectiveness. Piled-up desks, closets full of clothes you don’t wear, an unsatisfying career, unopened mail and unpaid bills—all of these create blockages that keep us from living into our greatness.

In my personal practice and with my clients, I’ve seen amazing results from regular decluttering; it’s a delicious way to accelerate the change you want in your life. I have also found that releasing clutter is a powerful invitation to what’s needed. I don’t know if it’s true that nature abhors a vacuum (there are plenty of empty spaces in our universe, after all, and nature seems to be just fine with them). But .

[Read more…]

The Power of Spiritual Community

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[this is a guest post by Lana Phillips]

Thanks so much, Sue, for letting me share with your beautiful community.
Blessings to you all. Lana

I was reading Patti Digh’s Creative Is a Verb today, and she reminded me of two things. One is the fact that often we teach what we most need to learn ourselves. The other is the power of a spiritual community. I am sharing with you about the power of spiritual community because I need to remember that we cannot walk through this world alone. We need others to walk with us and help us cut through the fog that sometimes surrounds us when we try to figure out who we are, what we want to do with our lives, and how we are going to get there.

Spirituality has become a bad word in today’s world.  I believe that the reason for this is that people confuse spirituality with organized religion. But how about “organized spirituality”? It looks like the next big thing for spiritual seekers, especially online, is developing a spiritual community. Some are based on the main faiths, and others are based on other “right fit” (thanks to Rachelle Mee-Chapman for this term) faiths and practices. The power of spirituality harnessed within the “organization” of community is dynamite.

The Religious Society of Friends (or the Quakers), as many people know them, have a discernment process called a clearness committee. A member of a meeting requests help gaining clarity in response to a concern of a dilemma. They believe that every member has the light of God (or an inner light) within; therefore, the goal is helping the person seeking clearness to find the answer within themselves, not through outside advice and guidance. Committee members are only allowed to ask open, honest questions, not to offer advice or psychoanalysis. This is the kind of spiritual community that is not exclusive to one kind of belief. There’s no preaching, no exclusion of people who believe or practice differently. There’s nothing but love, acceptance, and spiritual harmony. The energy is reciprocal and healing.

If you believe that we all have a divine inner light, whether you call it God, Goddess, Higher Power, Spirit, or some other name, please believe me that we are not meant to walk this earth alone. Your community may not look like a clearness committee. Maybe you worship within your group. Maybe you meditate. But please don’t do it alone.

Lana facilitates The Sad Café Community for wounded healers who need a place to do their own healing. She offers coaching and community programs for those who feel alone in their work and who have experienced difficulty in navigating broken systems and helping broken hearts. She enjoys adapted dancing and nature, along with reading everything except the cereal box (and usually that as well!). Contact her at gentlespirit512@gmail.com, Facebook, The Sad Cafe Community Facebook page, or Twitter. She’d love to get to know you all.

Venus transit, inspiration, choice and beauty

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Making time in business for the sacred. Better yet, being in touch with the sacred all the time…

You work hard. You feed, nurture and grow your business. You engage with your clients and prospects. You show up for your heart’s mission and your soul’s purpose. And yet, you keep telling me how hard it is to fold in, make time for, the sacred and important moments you want to observe. This has been a big week for moments, hasn’t it? With the Full Moon in Sagittarius on Monday, and yesterday’s Venus Transit and prayers for the Waters of the Earth, the last two days have been powerful, full of opportunity to honor our planet, make sacred commitment to our waters, to stand in the truth of what we want.

As my brilliant friend wrote in her Way of the Rabbit blog:

As Venus transits the Sun today, she asks us, “For what would you give up everything? For love? Money? What sacrifices are you willing to make? What risks are you willing to take in order to return this world to wholeness?”

[Read more…]