The power of affirmative thinking works a lot better without reservations or conditions

Makes it entirely different from kinda, sorta, conditional affirmative thinking

Even though I teach this stuff, and even though I understand it completely in theory, until just recently in this adventure of having to move and finding my new home I didn’t see the disconnect between what I know intellectually and how I was behaving. Which in moments of uncertainty (uh, which were pretty much all of my waking moments) found me behaving like an out-of-control ball of stress and fear. Pretty. Not.

• Fear and stress leaking out of my pores; I bet you could smell it; for sure you could see it.
• Fear and stress negatively impacting my work with my clients and my work on my business (distracted much?).
• Fear and stress compromising my health, which is no great shakes to begin with.
• Fear and stress affecting my looks (sleeplessness and nervous cuticle attacks make me so attractive!).
• Fear and stress being bigger than my peace and happiness (to the point of being convinced can’t be peaceful or happy).

Yo, that was all choice. I know!

I chose to do what I know how to choose, because of course. There’s some kind of comfort for me in my habitual dark side. Instead of operating from knowing knowing knowing that I’m being guided — fear and stress come way too easily to me. In the process of learning to be a spiritual, brave, of-service woman, I have shed lots of resistance (and clearly have many more layers to go). I learned how to affirm my prayers, to ask to be guided. But in the face of uncertainty, spiritual certainty drops away and I lose my grip on the good. Oh Fear! I know you, I know how to hang out with you. So I choose to ignore/forget any affirmation, which immediately causes me to drop my connection to the Divine, and instead I walk around fanning the flames of my negative scenario of the moment.  I have plenty of them!

What was different this time

This time, I tried something new. In addition to saying and singing and painting and praying my affirmation daily, and more than once a day:

My perfect house at my perfect price at the perfect time is already chosen and ready for me now. All I need to do is keep walking in its direction.

In addition, I also started compassionately handling my fear and stress. It would still come in. Of course. But instead of freaking out (I’m not supposed to be fearful any more!), which only makes it bigger, or diving into that old dark and grimy neighborhood — the intersection of Stress and Fear — at the expense of everything (see those bullets above), I would welcome them, give them an imaginary little pat, thank them, and then gently move them out of the way so I could keep moving in the direction of my house.

From the time I started this combined method, it was less than 14 days until I was led to my new house and signed the lease. Just sayin’…

Which is awesome!

• It’s right on the Bay Trail in Point Richmond — as in 20 feet from my door. Which although connected, is a much cleaner and quieter Bay Trail than the one I walk 13 miles south in my current neighborhood. It’s gorgeous.
• The house has every feature on my wish list. Dishwasher. Washer/dryer. Gas stove. Wood (okay fake wood) floors).
• It’s nearly 1,800 square feet. Plenty of room for me and my housemate and room for privacy.
• It has vaulted ceilings so there’s plenty of light and air.
• It’s about $500 per month less than comparable rentals right now. A bargain!

There are some things I don’t like. It’s not perfect.

• The fake wood floors. But at least there’s no carpet.
• It’s a development. All the houses look alike. I can’t decorate the front at all.
• And there are what’s called HOA rules. Can’t do this. Can’t do that.
• It’s far away from much of my life, far enough up a too often traffic-choked freeway to make me have to get creative about back roads and scheduling.
• It’s not very diverse.

But hey, I could use the quiet and the beauty after 8.5 years of living in a very gritty edgy and unsafe neighborhood.

The lease was signed last night. I move in six weeks or (gulp!) less. The to-do list is already quite long and growing by the minute. I begin packing next week.

Now to come up with an affirmative prayer for this move!

Suggestions anyone? How have you done this big life change in a short timeframe and retained your sanity? Talk to me in the comments. Blessed be.

I don’t know about you, but when things are challenging I need lots of support

And by challenging I mean when things are going differently than I expect or want!

I’ve been asking for and receiving lots of support as I navigate the changes in my business and the big one — having to move home and office. In addition to my business coach and my Mastermind, I’ve been asking pretty much everyone I know for help.

One response: the wise and wonderful Sharon Rosen suggested I read Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver. Wow. When I think of this book (I’m about halfway through) I visualize a glorious woman in shining armor who has come to my rescue. In lieu of buying each and every one of you a copy (yeah, sorry, can’t — I’ve gifted four copies so far and I’m stopping there for now), I’m going to share what my surrender is looking like.

First, let’s take a breath together in the calendar midpoint of 2015

How are things in your business? Are you on track with the goals you set at the turn of the year?

When you take a look at what is, does your heart open or do you contract? Do you keep going with your commitments (changing what might need to be changed) with ease or do you worry and wonder if you should give up?

If you’re anything like me, when reality doesn’t match what you requested, or what you think you need, you may find yourself in a habitual stress and fear response. I know I do. My fear habits are very strong, so strong that I even forget that I have learned many tools that would be very helpful!

So. My coach helped me craft an affirmation:

My perfect house, at my perfect price, in the perfect time is already chosen and waiting for me now. All I need to do is to keep taking steps in its direction.

And then she brought her own special brand of outrageous. She suggested that I be loving and welcoming to even my most fearful thoughts and worries. Which changes everything. The combination of daily speaking, singing, writing, painting this affirmation makes me less vulnerable to habitual fear binges. Which allows space for me to lovingly see my fears, have compassion for my fears, recognize them for what they are, and move on!

The outrageous part

Outrageous not only means bold and flamboyant, which was easy for me to see in this case. It’s beautifully outrageous for me to affirm positive outcomes anyway, in the face of even the hardest challenges. Outrageous also refers to being angry, shocked, and indignant. Which my committee of yammering monkeys most assuredly are. In fact, they are royally pissed off that I dare to stop listening to them at all, even with love! They could give a flying you-know-what about love.

So, precious you, what do you choose to affirm as you move into the second half of this year?

Riffing on the variations of outrageous openness prayers Lissa Rankin came up with, here are some that may help. Make your own version (mine keeps changing as I keep changing!).

Are you looking to grow your practice? Want more clients?

I’m now open to receive anyone who can benefit from my teaching. Let all who need me find me. Let me help relieve suffering. The Divine is my complete Source for all prosperity and will provide. My perfect clients are already waiting for me now.

Is your business is moving slower than you’d like, than you think you need?

In the right time, in the right way, my offering is available for the good of all, to all who need to be guided to me and to know. Any delays are beneficial; I am always in the right place at the right time. It is already handled.

Are you unsure what direction to take in your business?

Wherever I can be a force for Love, please guide me. Take me wherever you wish me to go. Let me do your bidding. I am willing to surrender and I know that my path is already clear.

What lands in your heart? How are you meeting the turn of the year? Do you have an affirmation or two to share? I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Blessed be!