Enough. Basta. Dayenu.

I have become numb to the violence.

The everyday, ho-hum “So what else is new?” violence.

Or so I thought.

Numb to the mass shootings. They’ve become commonplace. I can’t believe I’m writing those words — mass shootings are commonplace.

Which has caused these words — Enough. Basta. Dayenu. — to come out of my mouth in agonized grief and frustration many times since Charlottesville. Since — Oh wait, maybe it was Orlando. I can’t keep the massacres straight any more.

How much do I love this!?! Not.At.All. I’ve become numb to it. Or so I thought.

Enough. Basta. Dayenu.
Enough. Basta. Dayenu.

I lean on my communities of change, of commitment. The communities of healers who are supporting each other to reject and release our white privilege.

I have owned my white privilege. I no longer hide behind the assertion that because I am a descendant of the holocaust, I can’t possibly be accused of being privileged.

My face buys me privilege. Automagic. The color of my face buys me slack — so much more slack — than that afforded to people of color. I own it. I am awake to it. I have let go. And I have become numb.

But now! Now an entire new set of sensations have shown up. Insistent and unavoidable. 

My 30-year-old daughter went to a music festival in Las Vegas last weekend.

Just down the way from this most recent massacre. Just that close. In time and in distance.

She’s shaken. Of course.

She’s shaken? I heard the news and it felt like my heart stopped for a second.

Enough. Basta. Dayenu.

How’s your tender heart?

I’m here to hold this space with you. To wail with you. To rage with you. To settle with you. As often as you need. As often as I need. As often as we need. Let’s connect in the comments, or in email, or by phone — 510-504-6355.

It’s not all grief here today.

Good stuff is happening. Good and wildly exciting.

For today, though, I’m grieving more loss of life, I’m celebrating that my daughter is alive, and I’m appreciating Tom Petty, who, it turns out, was alive (until today) thirteen days longer than I have been on the planet (this go-round anyway). 

While Tom Petty was never a must-see musician for me, I have been watching and listening to one of my favorite songs lately, and I’ll leave you with that. (Wow I wish I had seen the Wilburys live. Who’s left? Dylan and Jeff Lynn? Oy.)

So. Here. Enjoy. I’m gonna listen one more time right now myself.

Here’s why I love this song (a sampling of the words, the blessings):

  • Well it’s all right, even if you’re old and grey. Well it’s all right, you still got something to say. 
  • Well it’s all right, riding around in the breeze. Well it’s all right, if you’re living the life you please.
  • Well it’s all right, doing the best you can. Well it’s all right, as long as you lend a hand.
  • Well it’s all right, even if they say you’re wrong. Well it’s all right, sometimes you gotta be strong.
  • Well it’s all right, remember to live and let live. Well it’s all right, the best you can do is forgive.

More about the good and wildly exciting stuff soon. Stay tuned! Blessed be.

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I’m a barely tamed hippie, sage, seasoned, sarcastic (not all the time any more, but still). I’m a mom, a daughter, sister, a neighbor, and a friend. I’ve been on this meandering journey — like you, probably — seeking a better connection to and experience of peace, harmony, and fun in every bit of life. I’m single, quite good at it, and mostly love it. I’m here for the conversations I get to have with you, which these days center on exploring the mystery and beauty of life, work, health, aging, and creative expression. Want to know a little more about me and my journey? Explore the site. Read the blog. Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

Join the conversation!

  1. Being numb isn’t the solution to the problem, Sue, although if we experience things long enough, we learn to absorb the shock. Your post is a sign that you are still feeling it and are raising your voice against senseless violence. Thank God your daughter is safe and alive.

    Tom Petty’s music is part of my youth and if you had known me in those days, you’d have loved seeing me drive to work in my Honda Prelude singing Won’t Back Down. Ah, memories!

    • Vatsala, thanks for your clarity (as usual!). There’s a difference between absorbing shock and getting stopped cold by it. All I know for sure is that I can’t do this stuff myself. I’m glad for powerful women like you walking ahead, beside, and behind me on the path.

  2. Ahhh Sue you spoke to my heart this morning! We can’t become numb to the violence as if it’s the new normal. We can contribute to raising the vibration of human consciousness by our loving compassion and kindness. When I think of the event in Las Vegas, I’m going to focus on the extraordinary loving acts that occurred in the midst of such hate. Thank you for sharing your heart xo

    • Hi Debra,

      Having lived the last seven days way too close to the fires for comfort, and having seen the extraordinary loving acts happening everywhere around me (including the ones I was lucky enough to initiate and participate in), I know exactly what you’re talking about. Thank you.

    • Suzie, Glad you liked the musical selection. It makes this barely tamed hippie so happy when I feel free enough to share some of my roots music. xoxox

  3. I love this song, and what a terrific video – thanks, Sue! It seems the past year, in particular, we’ve been hit with one crisis or drama after another on such a large scale it’s easy to feel helpless and overwhelmed by it all. Still, I believe that the worst thing we can do now is to attempt to save our nerves by tuning out. The only way things can get better is if people start paying attention. Protesting, marching, all of that is fine and there’s a place for it. But in my opinion change, REAL sustainable change begins on the grassroots level – in our communities. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

    • I know, Marty, it’s been quite the season for Mother Nature to shake her skirts at us. And after feeling numbed by the tropical storms and the earthquake, after too much senseless violence, having the North Bay fires happen over this last week has been just wild. Wild to experience. Wild to move through. Bad air. Death. Loss of homes. Weird weird weird skies (these are not the right colors!). Living amongst masked people.

      And also the honor to be in a town so committed to taking care of its own. Inspiring level of volunteering and giving. I’m lucky to have this level of love and support modeled for me.

  4. Thank you for sharing your heart Sue. It makes sense to reach a point where we say ENOUGH! Sadly, these events are becoming more and more common and as you said rightly there was so many good things happening too which media does not cover as much. I am glad that your daughter was safe and the work that you do in service to a better humanity.

  5. Don’t know if I’ve reached a state of numbness about public violence, but the anger has eroded into some sort of resignation – and that’s scary. TImely post about a serious problem without any easy solutions. Thanks,

  6. I’ve tried to process this increasing violence and hate. What is underneath all of this that makes people want to kill and take revenge? Some look at as social oppression and others as astrological. My hope is that we continue to evolve in consciusness as we can no longer believe that it is not our problem. We need to gather our strength and work to resolve conflict wherever we find it. Thank you Sue, for a very moving and personal expression. And, loved the video.

    • Joyce, Hi. I don’t know, and frankly don’t spend too much time puzzling over, the causations. Because it doesn’t seem to matter so much why as it does for me to summon the bravery — the chutzpah — to keep showing up even in the face of this. And this. And this.

    • Hey Wendy, nice to see you here!

      I saw my daughter this weekend, and became even more grateful that I didn’t lose her to this sad insanity.

      Much love to you.

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