Getting used to happiness
Peeling away the layers of stuckness and allowing happiness and joy in. And out.
Last Wednesday, my friend and member of my Mastermind group, Sharon Rosen, sent out her weekly Mindful Moment newsletter, and in it she wrote:
This week, with great love and respect for whatever is going on in your life right now, I invite you to spend at least one day living and connecting with those you love as if you knew it was your very last day.
- How would you act?
- What would you say that you might not normally share?
- What might you see/hear/sense/feel that you often are rushing too fast to experience fully?
- What would your self-talk sound like?
What a perfect message for me to receive, especially last week. In this season of change, and growth, and renewal, I had the amazing experience of reuniting with a cherished friend, a sister of my heart, whom I hadn’t seen in at least fifteen years. And I had nearly given up. I had tried to reach her, couldn’t find a current phone number, and had sent two actual letters in the last couple of years, neither of which got a reply.
I didn’t know if she was sick, or if I had mis-addressed the letters, or if there was something I didn’t know that had estranged us. In the second of my letters to her I found myself saying how important it was/is to me to see her again while we can, while we are both alive, before our very last days had come and gone.
And I got to see her. And her husband. And her two beautiful daughters. And it was like we had seen each other yesterday. Or an hour ago. Or five minutes ago.
I’ll be honest with you. As a woman who has a recent relationship with happiness, and a persistent habitual relationship with my dark side, I don’t do wild happiness that well. Sadly, I’m so much more comfortable focusing on what I don’t have, what’s unavailable, and being contemptuous of what I have. Sigh.
The good news is, I am not stuck in that pattern any more. [Doing a wild happy dance in my heart.] Uncomfortable as it was, I showed up, fully present, to reuniting, loving and appreciating. It was wonderful. I think that daily (or nearly daily) meditation practice, and sinking into my heart on a regular basis, is causing big fundamental important juicy changes in me. For the better!
- I’m grateful that Cecile and her family are back in my life
- I’m grateful that I invited people to my home for matzo brei dinner. My daughter, my sister and brother-in-law, and a few other cherished friends. I got to do the mom thing, showering Rose with the leftovers, some gas money, and lots of love.
- I’m grateful that Rose stayed for a few hours after the others left, and was happy to chat and drink tea. She is blooming into such a beautiful woman!
- I’m grateful that, the next day, Rose texted me, asking for the recipe. She made her first matzo brei, and it was beautiful (yes I got to see pictures!). The recipe is pictured on the right, and you can download a pdf of it here. Enjoy!
- I’m grateful, and amazed nearly beyond belief, that my daughter called in the middle of doing her own taxes (for the first time). Actually I think the prospect of a hefty refund was a huge incentive for her.
- I’m grateful for the geniuses at Apple listening to my story of the weird behavior of my phone and swapping it for a new one. Just.Like.That. Of course, I also worry about the sustainability of this practice—replacing instead of troubleshooting/fixing. Is it really cheaper for them to do that? At what cost to our planet? Sigh.
- I’m grateful for my first work with a shamanic healer today. A soul retrieval. It’s a little bit in the red zone on my woo-woo meter, but I went for it anyway. I am open to healing, I know I need it, even if I don’t understand it.
I’d love to know how this lands for you. Let me know right there in the comments!