Gratitude at the end of a beautiful weekend

Getting used to happiness

Peeling away the layers of stuckness and allowing happiness and joy in. And out.

Last Wednesday, my friend and member of my Mastermind group, Sharon Rosen, sent out her weekly Mindful Moment newsletter, and in it she wrote:

This week, with great love and respect for whatever is going on in your life right now, I invite you to spend at least one day living and connecting with those you love as if you knew it was your very last day.

  • How would you act?
  • What would you say that you might not normally share?
  • What might you see/hear/sense/feel that you often are rushing too fast to experience fully?
  • What would your self-talk sound like?

What a perfect message for me to receive, especially last week. In this season of change, and growth, and renewal, I had the amazing experience of reuniting with a cherished friend, a sister of my heart, whom I hadn’t seen in at least fifteen years. And I had nearly given up. I had tried to reach her, couldn’t find a current phone number, and had sent two actual letters in the last couple of years, neither of which got a reply.

I didn’t know if she was sick, or if I had mis-addressed the letters, or if there was something I didn’t know that had estranged us. In the second of my letters to her I found myself saying how important it was/is to me to see her again while we can, while we are both alive, before our very last days had come and gone.

And I got to see her. And her husband. And her two beautiful daughters. And it was like we had seen each other yesterday. Or an hour ago. Or five minutes ago.

I’ll be honest with you. As a woman who has a recent relationship with happiness, and a persistent habitual relationship with my dark side, I don’t do wild happiness that well. Sadly, I’m so much more comfortable focusing on what I don’t have, what’s unavailable, and being contemptuous of what I have. Sigh.

The good news is, I am not stuck in that pattern any more. [Doing a wild happy dance in my heart.] Uncomfortable as it was, I showed up, fully present, to reuniting, loving and appreciating. It was wonderful. I think that daily (or nearly daily) meditation practice, and sinking into my heart on a regular basis, is causing big fundamental important juicy changes in me. For the better!

matzo breiAnd there’s more where that big gratitude came from

  • I’m grateful that Cecile and her family are back in my life
  • I’m grateful that I invited people to my home for matzo brei dinner. My daughter, my sister and brother-in-law, and a few other cherished friends. I got to do the mom thing, showering Rose with the leftovers, some gas money, and lots of love.
  • I’m grateful that Rose stayed for a few hours after the others left, and was happy to chat and drink tea. She is blooming into such a beautiful woman!
  • I’m grateful that, the next day, Rose texted me, asking for the recipe. She made her first matzo brei, and it was beautiful (yes I got to see pictures!). The recipe is pictured on the right, and you can download a pdf of it here. Enjoy!
  • I’m grateful, and amazed nearly beyond belief, that my daughter called in the middle of doing her own taxes (for the first time). Actually I think the prospect of a hefty refund was a huge incentive for her.
  • I’m grateful for the geniuses at Apple listening to my story of the weird behavior of my phone and swapping it for a new one. Just.Like.That. Of course, I also worry about the sustainability of this practice—replacing instead of troubleshooting/fixing. Is it really cheaper for them to do that? At what cost to our planet? Sigh.
  • I’m grateful for my first work with a shamanic healer today. A soul retrieval. It’s a little bit in the red zone on my woo-woo meter, but I went for it anyway. I am open to healing, I know I need it, even if I don’t understand it.

I’d love to know how this lands for you. Let me know right there in the comments!

 

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Sue

I’m a barely tamed hippie, sage, seasoned, sarcastic (not all the time any more, but still). I’m a mom, a daughter, sister, a neighbor, and a friend. I’ve been on this meandering journey — like you, probably — seeking a better connection to and experience of peace, harmony, and fun in every bit of life. I’m single, quite good at it, and mostly love it. I’m here for the conversations I get to have with you, which these days center on exploring the mystery and beauty of life, work, health, aging, and creative expression. Want to know a little more about me and my journey? Explore the site. Read the blog. Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

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  1. What a wonderful post!  I am so happy for your happiness.  

    Apple does sell refurbished phones, so my hope is that that is where your old phone will go…

    • Thanks, Sara Renee! I hope Apple will do something other than a landfill dump too.

      Have a beautiful day!

      Sue

  2. So happy for you that you saw your friend again! I have a friend like that who I lost touch with some time in the late 90s. Whenever I did a Facebook (or similar) search for her, I couldn’t find her and of course she might have gotten married and changed her name… But inspired by you, I just did another search – and found someone by her name on Facebook. I sent a message – fingers crossed it’s her!

    Thank you :-)))

     

  3. What a beautiful, love-filled post! I can see your happiness radiating through the computer screen! I noticed that many of the things on your gratitude list had to do with your daughter; that inspires me to reach out to my own  mother, even if just to say I love you at a random time. I know she will appreciate it oodles.

    • Thanks, Cassandra! Two things drive me to these joyful (even if they feel risky) actions: Embracing imperfection and the idea of “If not now, when…?”

      Frees me up to take risks, love a lot and even a little more, and act from my heart as much as, if not more than, from my head.

      As they told me in Brooklyn, when I got clean and sober, “Being alone with your own mind puts you in a bad f’ing neighborhood.” Now I know, that even when I’m alone, if I’m connected to the divine through my heart, I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

      Too woo-woo? Hope it lands just as it’s meant to, my heart to yours.

  4. Sue, thank you for sharing your joyous gratitudes from this week. There is so much joy in connecting meaninfully with others and sharing traditions. I think that connection with our past and present coming together adds another layer of depth and beauty. Hope you have more loving connections to keep supporting your heart. 

    • Thanks, Nicole. I agree. Today’s heart support does not come from last week’s outreach and expression of love. Thanks for reminding me!

      Love and light,
      Sue

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