Note to self. Use this prayer:
On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask our higher power to direct our thinking and actions, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. —from the AA Big Book—page 86, paraphrased by me.
This is critical for me. I do not, in fact, embrace my day in faith and from a place of generosity and love. I do not roll easily with the punches.
The fact that the first phrase that occurs to me is *roll with the punches* is telling. Life is more easily and gracefully lived when I move through it as if I’m wearing a loose cloak than it does when I see and feel myself crouched in a boxer’s stance fending off punches.
Hmmm, how can I rephrase? Instead of admitting that I do not roll easily with the punches, I am better served (we are all better served, especially those of you whom I blame for circumstances) if I admit that I have some resistance to change. I added *and actions* to the quote. I am so relieved when I remember that I am not doing any of this alone. That I have a direct relationship to a vast and powerful higher power who has my back. And front. And sides. Top and bottom too.
I know what it feels like to humbly ask for guidance and the loving care of my HP. Only problem is I forget. I wake up and get into that crouch. So for now, I am going to state and restate that prayer early and often. I am going to actively step into faith, since it doesn’t seem to be accessible to me without this effort. An effort I am more than willing to make, because the alternative kinda sucks.
I am grateful for the willingness and ability to change course, to get humble, to laugh at myself.
I am grateful for friends who laugh with me, with love.
I am grateful grateful grateful that Rose called me to tell me that she and Gus got jobs!!
I am grateful for work, clients, teams, collaboration, working together for good. I am blessed.