Recommitting to my practice. I’ve been lazy about writing my gratitude lists. Funny how little it takes to slowly slip away from a practice that adds so much to my life.
It’s a good thing I have such a big toolbox. In addition to being aware of and sharing the things for which I give thanks—my gratitude practice—I have an array of other practices that I use daily, frequently or occasionally to keep me right sized and on track.
Some of those things include intentional generosity, meditation, t’ai chi, walking in the outdoors, relaxation, 12-step meetings and more.
I am very grateful, as I come closer and closer to the date that marks 20 consecutive years of clean and sober living, for this gift in my life. Well, for the fact that I even have a life. When I got sober, I heard someone talk about how it takes as long to walk out of the deep jungle as it did to walk into it. So. I am nearly at that point now. I can see the light. The trees and vines have thinned and I can see more clearly and farther. The steps I take are not much less of a struggle. I am not daily making my way through impenetrable difficult dangerous terrain.
However. I don’t want to forget where I landed up. I can’t afford to forget. It’s much too easy to end up back there again. That’s an express trip. That’s why consistent frequent meeting attendance is critical. I get to hear over and over again stories that help me remember just how awful my life was and could be again.
I don’t usually write about this part of my life in this public forum. I walk a fine line here, blogging about some of the personal things what makes me grateful. This is real. And maybe not so pretty. The good news is that I have by some miracle transformed into a woman who can choose gratitude. And choose generosity. And choose life. I am utterly cellularly molecularly ridiculously grateful for life.
Oh and the transformation is not complete. I still have so far to go, so much to take on, so much to give.
This year’s big project is making art for a show in June!!! My second art show of my life. I am doing half on my own (photography) and half with my dear friend Jenny. We met last night and planned the first four pieces we’re doing. Since we’re working on niche/dioramas, we need lots of teeny little things. Last night we made our lists and we will have our first excursion on Saturday to gather the bits and objects we need from about ten different stores. Field trips to the beach and a volcanic park come later. I don’t want to talk too much about what we’re up to; not yet. I promise to share pix as we complete these niches.
May sunny wintry cool blessings be in every breath you take.