gratitude monday 11/16

momweddingIt’s my mother’s birthday. Happy birthday mom. The picture is of her on her wedding day. Mom was born in 1926. I am Susan daughter of Trudy, Sarah bat Golda (in Hebrew). I feel my mother in my blood, in my pulse, in my heartbeat every day.

I felt her at my croning yesterday. I felt her at the beach yesterday morning when I was doing a ritual at the ocean. I see her every time I look in the mirror.

Happy birthday mom. Thank you for everything.

I am a grateful woman. As I sit in my grief for the ending of my love affair with Leila. We broke up on Friday and I have had quite a weekend of moving through sadness and tears.

There are many blessings and gifts from the last four months. I am permanently changed. I no longer believe the story that I can’t be a woman in a loving relationship. I no longer believe I’m too old to be sexually attractive. Uh uh. Those myths are pau. Gone. That’s a good thing.

I’m a crone. I have been through a powerful ritual where I was led through seven gates to the underworld, giving up my crown, my accomplishments, my creations, my mementos, my finery, my vision (to be blindfolded): dying to be reborn as the woman I get to be today.

I was surrounded by the women of the covens with which I work. And by my daughter. Who showed up in perfect love and perfect trust and was integrated and present and loving. And by visiting friends from Sacramento.

It was an awesome, deep, intense, reverent ritual. I am grounded in gratitude. Humbled and honored.

Although the grief continues to cycle through me, I trust I trust I trust and I know that all is unfolding just as it’s supposed to.

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I’m a barely tamed hippie, sage, seasoned, sarcastic (not all the time any more, but still). I’m a mom, a daughter, sister, a neighbor, and a friend. I’ve been on this meandering journey — like you, probably — seeking a better connection to and experience of peace, harmony, and fun in every bit of life. I’m single, quite good at it, and mostly love it. I’m here for the conversations I get to have with you, which these days center on exploring the mystery and beauty of life, work, health, aging, and creative expression. Want to know a little more about me and my journey? Explore the site. Read the blog. Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

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  1. Sorry to hear about the breakup, but know with all of my heart that what you learned and how you have transformed over the last several months has opened you up to new and better things ahead. Glad that you are able to truly see yourself in that brighter light that was have all been seeing all along.

    The Ritual from last night sounds like it was amazing. One of the few times I have regretted that extra chromosome that prevented me from being there too. Hail Innana, Queen of Heaven!

  2. The ritual was so beautiful. And I know that the lessons you took from your relationship are the ones that you are meant to have. It will only get better from here!

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