gratitude wednesday 8/13

I’m grateful to be up and in life. I must admit I’m having a challenging time these days. And this being perceived as old is really starting to bug me. Some young guy offering me his seat on BART. A young sober woman asking me, over coffee, if I still worked. I don’t get it. I look in the mirror and I see the crone’s age and sag and lack of skin tone at the same time that I see myself as the virgin maiden I was in high school and the full tilt amazon drug addict I was and the recovering mother I became.

I know I know I know the wheel of life and yet and yet and yet I hate this part. I think it may be time for some support from my witch-sters as I continue to crone in this body. So that maybe it can feel less like a betrayal and maybe maybe maybe I can find a place to stand in empowerment.


Card of the day: Judgment. Consequences. A shift in consciousness. Which would be very welcome, thank you very much. I’d like to shift my consciousness out of the muck and pain of this last couple of weeks, since the caffeine detox began and since work has become slow. My consciousness-shifting isn’t working under my own power; I think I need a tow. Just sayin’.

I’m grateful to be willing to admit this. Every day — okay five days a week — I sit here and summon gratitude and with fierce determination state what’s positive. It is a way of prayer for me, to put out what I want as declarative affirmative statements. To refuse refuse refuse to complain. To refuse refuse refuse to stand in self-pity or give any strength or power to my shadow side. Not happening today. I need to be honest. Today. And to affirm and declare, anyway, that even when my shadow side veils me from head to toe, front to back and all around, I know I know I know that I am a child of the goddess and that I am whole perfect and complete just the way I am.

And so it is. Blessed be.

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I’m a barely tamed hippie, sage, seasoned, sarcastic (not all the time any more, but still). I’m a mom, a daughter, sister, a neighbor, and a friend. I’ve been on this meandering journey — like you, probably — seeking a better connection to and experience of peace, harmony, and fun in every bit of life. I’m single, quite good at it, and mostly love it. I’m here for the conversations I get to have with you, which these days center on exploring the mystery and beauty of life, work, health, aging, and creative expression. Want to know a little more about me and my journey? Explore the site. Read the blog. Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

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  1. Every once in a while a woman succeeds in raising a man with manners. I know, hard to believe. There is a possibility that you encountered one of these such males while riding on BART. If my son was sitting down and a woman of any age had to stand while he did nothing….well, what he would hear from me is NOT very lady-like. And yes, the wheel of time keeps on turning (am I singing?) and we are older than we used to be, but what is the alternative? I’m not ready for that yet. I will have you know, dear Sue, that I’m at the tail end of my 30’s and sooo wish that I had your energy, your vitality, your stamina, and your gift of radical magical hip shaking!!!!! So don’t give up on your bag of bones just yet! LOL. You are strong strong strong. If something terribly horrible were to happen to me I would only wish that you would be there to drag my sorry ass to safety. It paints a pretty funny picture, doesn’t it?
    See you Friday

  2. Agreed–there are some chivalrous guys left in this world. I’ve had a few guys offer me a seat on BART out of politeness…first time that happened, I looked at the guy like he’d gone nuts! (And then took the seat. Ha.)

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