Tuesday morning. A short work week. I actually took a day off! Wow. A little difficult, allowing the slower pace and the rest. Letting go of the need to accomplish. I am so grateful for this gift to myself. I used to be convinced that I had to pack suitcases and get on a plane or take a long road trip to achieve down time. I never understood how folks could take time off and just stay home. Now that’s available to me and for that I’m grateful.
I was present for Rose when she called to tell me that her car was stolen. My poor dear darling cherished child. Life lessons abounding. I hold space for Rose’s next chapters being interesting, stimulating, challenging and not too challenging. And I hold strong the knowing that she is already whole perfect and complete and that she is already fine. All is well, my darling Rose, all is well.
I notice that I skipped my grats on Friday. Wonder why? Oh yeah, I had a contractor in early in the morning to attempt to install ceiling fans. Didn’t work. And I was working hard to complete ordering tchotchkes for a client by the end of the weeks. The order is complete. And I found two standing pedestal fans that don’t take too much of my limited space. And I hold intention for a cool bearable summer. There’s also a possibility of a ceiling exhaust fan going in here that will use existing ducting and hopefully not be noisy. The beat goes on…I am so grateful that my landlady is open and present to work on this stuff for me/with me. Blessed be!
I got to do a little dancing over the weekend. A little lindy hop at the 9:20 and a little blues at Roots. I am supporting Roots again. And dealing with my ego about it.
I am grateful for my third encounter with David, a person I knew in Arica. I feel sorry for him; it must be heavy being with me as I’m dealing with a new look at old stuff. I’m glad I showed up for this.
I was invited to two BBQ parties this weekend. One complete with outdoor fire, music and a gorgeous sunset. And drinking and pot-smoking. Interesting. I had some conversations, did some drumming and said my goodbyes. This is a woman I hope will soon be a client. And the other was my dear friend Kim from my Foundations class. I got to sit and be with a couple of women I really like, including one whose singing voice has been instrumental in some of my Sunday-morning joy over the last few years. What a treat!
I paid bills, got straight with my money, went to two meetings, saw my sponsor.
I too am whole perfect and complete just the way I am. As I told my new sponsor, as a way of letting her know a little more about me, for someone who did as much damage as I have, who is as broken as I am, especially around relatedness, I’m doing okay. Very okay. And so it is!