Tuesday morning. Gray. Cool. Time to summon the gratitudes. My card this morning is the Devil.
I’m feeling Devilish; feeling bound to my shadow side. I know I tend to depression and loneliness; as I was saying in an email to Kismet this morning, I’m hoping that the dark side is magnified for me these days because of the detox and withdrawal and that it will recede to less intense levels. Soon.
I’m grateful for willingness to sit, dwell, let be.
I’m grateful for my studies.
For a visit with my sister. Dinner together, knitting together and watching a movie.
I’m grateful for work and for the possibility of more work. And for the intention that there will be more work and I will be productive successful and well paid for what I love to do.
I am blessed. I love life. Even when I feel like I don’t.
I’m grateful for knowing what I know. When the topic at yesterday’s AA meeting posed a question about how you do the spiritual part of your program, I was puzzled. I was wondering what exactly that meant. And then I realized that it simply means everything. When I treat myself like a worthwhile person, I’m in the spiritual part of my program. When I treat others with generosity and kindness and leave the chip that has lived on my shoulder for so much of my life on its shelf, I’m in the spiritual part of my program. When I let a driver cut in front of me without expressing anger, without even rolling my eyes, I’m in the spiritual part of my program. Like they said, I only have to do two things in recovery: Not get loaded and change everything. Simple.