Is being true to your heart and soul selfish? Does it matter?

This morning I rolled out of bed before 7, before the alarm, and I put on my flipflops and went into the garden.

Dragged the heavy hose its full length and started watering the seedbeds. The whole garden looks like more dirt than plants, as you can see, and I spent my time (15, 20 minutes) watering every bed, and the paths in between, bending down and saying hello to each little tiny seedling I could see.

This time spent in the chilly morning sunshine was most definitely not on my calendar. I have so much more important stuff to do! Tax-related stuff, business development stuff. I have blogs to read and comments to write! I have #FFs to send, and RTs. And yes, I also have sunshine to soak up, and invisible seeds to water and love, and seedlings to greet.

Yes it’s selfish. And yes it matters. In a good way.

I tell my clients this all the time: Make room for every part of your most sacred self in your schedule. Want some unstructured hammock-lying time? Schedule it! On first glance this might look and sound counterintuitive to you. Take a moment with this. Close your eyes and picture your calendar—using the week view. And picture a lovely two, two-and-a-half–hour chunk labeled Sacred time: Laze in a hammock and look at the clouds. This chunk is in a color you don’t use for anything but Sacred Time. Using a different color is a very important part of the magic of this, try it and see! And then picture yourself getting to that day, that afternoon, that chunk of time. And shutting your computer, leaving your phone behind, slapping on some sunscreen, and going out to do nothing. In the very best way.

Feeling like you don’t have enough time for your art? Schedule it. I just recently found myself feeling deprived of time to make, to create, to play with Jenny, my art buddy. So I scheduled an every-two-week afternoon labeled Sacred Art Time. I know how difficult this stuff can be. I confess it’s much easier for me to coach and remind my clients to do this stuff for themselves than it is to do it for myself. It can be so challenging to allow this spacious, juicy, well rounded, fully expressed me to do everything she loves.

There’s a price we pay when we ignore and deny these powerful cravings
to feed all the juicy wonderful parts of ourselves

We are so committed to our business, to our work, to our outreach, to our clients and prospects, to our success, that we can end up pretty single-minded. And that single-minded devotion to work has a big fat negative impact on our balance, on our expression, on our satisfaction, on our happiness.

Do this daring thing. Today. Before you close up shop for the day (or night, if you’re like me!)

Close your eyes. Go inside. Breathe. Feel into your heart. Think of that thing you really wanted to do recently, and didn’t, in favor of work. That midday yoga class. The invitation from your friend to take an afternoon walk by the shore. Those gorgeous veggie starts you wanted to buy and put in the dirt. Okay. Now. Go to your calendar. Look at the upcoming week. And move enough stuff around so that you have the spaciousness to stick that very thing on there. In its own color! Let me help support you in this. Send me this powerful intentional audacious schedule entry you just made. Comment here, or email me, or send me a tweet. Let me support your audacious love affair with yourself and your soul’s true expression. Go for it, gorgeous! I’ve got your back.    


Take a deeper dive — more articles like this one...

Grief’s spiral, grief’s gifts

grief's gift grief's spiral

Fierce gratitude


Insight, vision, and the art of seeing

seeing vision insight covid-19

Divine neutrality — a deeper look

Divine Neutrality

Gratitude even if. Gratitude no matter what.


Want more joy in your life? Try these three things…

My gratitude jar


I’m a barely tamed hippie, sage, seasoned, sarcastic (not all the time any more, but still). I’m a mom, a daughter, sister, a neighbor, and a friend. I’ve been on this meandering journey — like you, probably — seeking a better connection to and experience of peace, harmony, and fun in every bit of life. I’m single, quite good at it, and mostly love it. I’m here for the conversations I get to have with you, which these days center on exploring the mystery and beauty of life, work, health, aging, and creative expression. Want to know a little more about me and my journey? Explore the site. Read the blog. Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

Join the conversation!

  1. Love this Sue…….it’s amazing how we are conditioned to feel when we want to do certain things for our selves……I take time for myself every morning…..that’s how I start my day….this way, anything else I do is icing on the gluten-free cake :)………and I so agree to book that time in for yourself on your calendar…..this way it’s there and you’re reminded daily…..thx for sharing……….

    • Sacred time for the sacred goddess you are! Thank you so much for sharing how this lands for you, gorgeous!

      Love and light,

    • @GinaRafkind
      Sacred time for the sacred goddess you are! Thank you so much for sharing how this lands for you, gorgeous!
      Love and light,Sue

  2. I am totally one of those “selfish” people who takes as much time for me as I need. What is the point of life but to be happy and to enjoy it as much as possible?
    I love your blog!

    •  @DomineeWyrick Thanks, Dominee! What is the point indeed? Beautifully put!
      Love and light,

  3. Another selfish person here! I’ve been taking time out all year to do what I want and to take as long as I want doing it. I do still have taxes to do and floors to clean and, oh yes, a job to go to. But none of them are priority now – I am! Great post 🙂

  4. We are better friends, daughters, mother’s and partners when we give value to our own self-care.  Cheers!
    “When you become truly selfish, you’ll have the extra reserves needed to really care about – and be generous with others.” -Thomas Leonard

    •  @ShannVanderLeek Shann, Ooh, thanks for the Leonard quote. That’s powerful! Thanks for sharing it. 
      Love and light,

Chime in!

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *