The journey through change continues and the lessons keep coming
The biggest gift I’ve received in dealing with this latest unexpected and uninvited change: finding out that acting from my heart opens up the space for me to be just as joyful and positive as I am when things are going the way I’d like.
I’m learning how to negotiate from the heart.
I’ve learned how to make the act of selling my services sacred in my business — by standing in humility and leading from love. I can apply the same principles now — I can negotiate from the heart — when faced with having to leave the place I’ve lived and worked for over eight years. This week, it was time for me to put a counterproposal together as a response to my landlord’s first offer. Here are some of the things I learned and practiced that allowed me to step away from fear and stress and stand tall in love and faith as I crafted, edited, finalized, and sent the proposal.
- Do things in the right order: Get all the mentorship and support you crave before you respond in a negotiation — I had two lawyers and my business coach help me draft my counter.
- Accept what is: Drop the resentment and the fear that if you’re not in control, terrible things will happen. I am no longer fighting the reality that I now must find a new place to live and work.
- Trust the outcome, even if it looks murky: The quicker you can stop telling yourself that the outcome will be bad, the quicker you can start enjoying each moment.
- Find the blessing, own the blessing, live the blessing: When things are uncomfortably uncertain, staying grounded in self-care and spiritual practices — starting with compassionately blessing myself and this journey with a full heart — is the best way to avoid slipping back into misery and negativity. Look — I don’t know about you (actually, I do know 😎), but I have an all-volunteer squad of screaming monkeys in my head who are available 24/7 to start reminding me of all the bad things I should be fearing. My job is to keep turning toward the Divine, to wrap myself in love and safety, and to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I sent the counterproposal to my landlord last night by email.
I even set it up like a contract and electronically signed my portion! Way to set a positive intention!
I prayed, I blessed the email, I blessed myself and I let it go.
Then (nothing but honesty here, no matter how embarrassing), I found myself expecting to hear my landlord screaming (she lives in screaming distance of my place) “Are you nuts? What makes you think I would agree….? You know how these monkeys do their thing, so skillful!
Every time I caught myself hanging out in this misery — which is really inviting a negative outcome — I would put my hands over my heart, breathe deeply, and step back into trust.
I got a reply from her this morning. She said:
I am a bit distracted today [her niece is in labor with her first child]. I confirm receipt of your offer and will work with you to achieve an acceptable conclusion of our agreement. I need a couple of days to think this out…will be back with you on this early next week. Again, I am happy and proud that we have come this far toward reaching an agreement and am certain we can move forward…just need a little time.
No screaming. No “Are you crazy?” Or “How dare you!”
Here’s what I keep learning:
Not only is negative projection not worth it, I believe from my own personal experience that the more positive and loving you are, the more you can rock any kind of change. Flip side? — the more you hang out in negativity, the darker will be your experience all the way through your journey.
Look — I still don’t know what will happen. I don’t know if more negotiation is going to have to happen. What happens next doesn’t matter, because I know what to do in any circumstance. Woot!
Are you going through changes in your own business?
You don’t have to do it alone. You can get support.
Are you finding it hard to figure out what to do, and in what order? I get it. I so get it!
First, stop, get grounded, and connect with your heart and with the Divine, however that manifests for you. Then have a look at my coaching program. Drop me a line (firstname.lastname@example.org), and we’ll get on the phone, and see if I can help. I am here to support you.