Perfection is an illusion—Full Moon in Virgo

I had a tooth pulled today. An infected molar.

And I was so worried that it wouldn’t go perfectly.

For a variety of reasons—old trauma, sensitive teeth—I have this pattern of anxiety around dental work. I’ve had an extraction before. It was difficult. I have a history of painful (and expensive) dental work. By the time I walked into the dentist’s office today, I was anxious! I was all up in my head, and my thoughts weren’t pretty.

Luckily for me, I had some time in the waiting room. Time and my iPhone. I pulled up Twitter. One of my sheros, Molly Gordon, had just tweeted this:

What would you allow yourself to do today if failure is an option? Think about it!

angelWhat a gift!

I totally love those angel moments. You know what I mean? Someone says something, not necessarily to you, that turns out to be just the insight you needed. And Molly’s tweet was just that for me today. It freed me from the anxiety loop I was in. I had been worrying that things wouldn’t turn out right, that the procedure would hurt too much, that the tooth wouldn’t come out cleanly, that it wouldn’t heal. Reading Molly’s words created instant spaciousness and allowed me to shift to a different and more easeful context. 

Yes, things might not go perfectly. Yes, failure is an option. Always. But I was able to feel into my heart and connect with this: that even if things went wrong, even if there was a big fail, it could and would get dealt with.

Maybe there’s a better definition of perfection.

Maybe perfection is simply having faith in the process, trusting that whatever happens is the right and perfect outcome, and knowing—remembering—that beautiful truth, that I haven’t been brought this far to be dropped on my head.

What’s your definition of perfection? How have you been able to let go of what you think should happen and embrace what actually is happening instead? Please share your story in the comments.


Speaking of perfection, let’s talk about the upcoming Full Moon in Virgo, on Monday, 2/25, at 12:26pm Pacific

The February Full Moon is known, in various cultures, as:
– Snow Moon
– Hunger Moon
– Storm Moon
– Rest Cleansing Moon
– Butterfly Clan Moon
– Otter People Moon
– Wild Moon
– Quickening Moon
– Quaking Aspen Moon
– Trapper’s Moon
– Budding Moon
– Bony Moon
– Moon of Ice

The Full Moon always invites you to celebrate the progress you’ve made on manifesting the intentions you set on the previous New Moon. As the Moon has waxed towards full, what have you taken on? What have you risked?

Some of the things to look at as we come up on the Virgo Full Moon

The Virgo Moon is opposing the Sun in Pisces, but that ain’t all. There are a whole lot of planets gathering in watery, emotional, dreamy and transcendent Pisces over the next week or so in addition to the Sun: Mercury, Venus, Mars and Neptune. The effect of all this energy will be strongest between 2/25 and 3/12, winding down just around the time of the next New Moon.

The first Mercury retrograde of 2013 is here (2/23–3/18), in Pisces. As usual, double- and triple-check the details, expect opinions and decisions to be more changeable than usual, avoid big purchases and signing major contracts, if you can. Refine, revise, rethink, rework, and repurpose.

Pay attention to loose ends—the loose ends this time may be connected to our feelings, our hopes and dreams. In watery and emotional Pisces this Mercury rx promises to be especially tender.

Three suggestions for a Full Moon working, for your business, for your body, for your soul

Take some time, as close to the actual Full Moon as you can to do this work. (Any time in the three-day-window of Sunday 2/24 to Tuesday 2/26 will work just fine.) You can work at your altar, or be outside, or any place you feel connected to Spirit.

Use these suggestions to tap into the energy of this Full Moon.

  • Remind yourself that perfection is an illusion. Take some time in meditation and ask for compassion, forgiveness and healing around your attachment to your idea of perfection. Remember that Spirit may have bigger miracles in store for you than you could ever conceive of for yourself. Relax into the process and embrace the mystery and the flow; let things unfold.
  • Use the energy of your subconscious, of your dreams and visions, to create something that heals, nourishes or otherwise benefits others. A good way to discern what you’re meant to do is to do some journaling or drawing/painting. Light a candle. Ask to be guided and shown. And just keep your hand moving on the page.
  • Keep taking actions in the direction of your highest good, even if you think it’s too hard, or too late, or too big. Allow yourself to practice exquisite self-care. It doesn’t matter if there are voices in your head saying you’re not ready, or not good enough. Have faith in what’s healthy for you and have faith in yourself!

I’d love to know how this Full Moon shines upon you, bubbeleh. Please leave a comment and let me know.


I love to share my gratitude with you!

I’m grateful today.

  • I am grateful that the extraction went well and that it looks like it’s healing as it should.
  • I am grateful for knowing how to ask for help. I didn’t want to have to drive myself so I asked my local community for help.
  • I am grateful that I can separate the ask from the results. Even if someone hadn’t come through with a ride, I would still be grateful for being able to ask.
  • I am grateful that I did, in fact, get a ride from a friend, and also was gifted with his company for a couple of hours afterward. Lots of love there.
  • I am grateful that my daughter and sister checked up on me right after I got home.
  • I am grateful that, when I thanked my daughter for calling, that she said that she’s putting intention into her expression of love and kindness to me and others. I’m grateful to have this thoughtful loving young woman in my life and to watch her beautiful unfoldment.
  • I am grateful to recognize that my dream of having a positive influence on my kid is coming true after all. It completely and utterly doesn’t look like I wanted it to, but when I let go of my stranglehold on how I think it should look I get to be crazy grateful for what it does look like and how she’s starting to want more love and joy at the tender age of 26. This kind of development took me much longer than that in my own life!

What’s moving you to gratitude today? Share your gratitude with me in the comments section below.

Credit for the angel image: Margret Hofheinz-Döring/Galerie Brigitte Mauch Göppingen, via Wikimedia Commons

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I’m a barely tamed hippie, sage, seasoned, sarcastic (not all the time any more, but still). I’m a mom, a daughter, sister, a neighbor, and a friend. I’ve been on this meandering journey — like you, probably — seeking a better connection to and experience of peace, harmony, and fun in every bit of life. I’m single, quite good at it, and mostly love it. I’m here for the conversations I get to have with you, which these days center on exploring the mystery and beauty of life, work, health, aging, and creative expression. Want to know a little more about me and my journey? Explore the site. Read the blog. Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

Join the conversation!

  1. I think, at least for me, that I get worried about things going horribly wrong because I don’t trust myself enough to deal with them. But when stuff actually happens, I’m way stronger and able to deal than I ever worried about.

  2. Hi Gypsy Love Warrior, I totally get it about the self-trust. It’s amazing how our monkey minds refuse to dwell in that place that celebrates just how strong and capable we really are.
    Love and blessings,

  3. I needed to read this post I think! It’s been a funny couple of weeks and your post has helped hit the spot and remind me that it is all an illusion! I loved the option too of failure being an option-really thought provoking. Thank you

  4. I was obsessed with putting all systems in place in order to assure positive outcomes. Now perfection for me is accepting that life’s imperfect and it’s OK. I feel so much lighter.

  5. Sue,
    I am pleased to hear that your extraction was a clean one. Yay! I was driving to work this morning at the early hour of 5 am and the stretch of road ahead of me left an expansive view of the full moon. There was a blanket of cover in front of it that veiled it in such a way that it actually appeared bigger and brighter than it would have had it not been obscured. It was lovely. As I turned the corner and parked at work I found myself getting out of my car and jumping to see if I could spot another glimpse of it’s magnificent. When I see such beauty the presence of God is undeniable to me. Again, as you wrote of happening upon your dental office waiting room tweet, I too happened across this post just as I was preparing to have a good session of beating myself up for a discretionary regret. How important it was for me to be reminded that I am not supposed to be perfect. I have yet to meditate today and I see that there is just enough time to pull in some full moon energy to soften up my heart. Thanks Sue for sharing with us, the readers and recipients of your generous gift.

    • @kimberly Thanks so much for taking the time to connect with me through the grace of serendipity that lands when we read just what we need to read at just the right time. I am blessed by this connection. Thanks!
      Love and light,

  6. Sue, I love your wisdom and I agree so much with your thoughts on the idea of perfection! I think perfectionism is just another excuse we sometimes use for not putting ourselves out there, out of fear… Funnily enough, I just blogged about fear of success the other day. There are no co-incidences 🙂
    “What would you allow yourself to do today if failure is an option?” is a very powerful question!
    Much love xx

    • @Sibylle How true! It’s hard to stand in the simple truth sometimes, isn’t it? That we have these walls we build, brick by brick, behind which we can hide from this moment. I love the failure as an option quote, as well as this thought: You’re as young today as you’re ever gonna be, precious…
      Think about it!

  7. Thank you Sue – so much of what you have written about rang so true for me. There have been so many changes for me recently that tie in with your blog, and I have really been working on detachment from outcome when moving towards my bigger dreams (so to avoid frustration and impatience!). Your blog put into words so beautifully what I have been aiming for without – a big YES! moment for me. Thank you for sharing.

    • @Nicole Suzanne Brown Double thanks! Thanks for the loving acknowledgement, and thanks for the great new word! Perzackly! Love it.
      Have a great week, gorgeous!

  8. I love reading your gratitude list! I always go through what I am grateful for before I go to sleep. And I try to do it continuously through the day! It is a wonderful way to live, isn´t it! Thanks for sharing!! xx

    • @Elin I’m so glad it’s working for you. It’s such a powerful way to get connected to my heart more than to my chattering monkey mind.
      Love and blessings,

  9. Thank you for your wonderful insights and gratitudes. I am grateful for beautiful Colorado weather, a wonderful yoga session today, time with my sister yesterday, the excitement of the future unknowns, letting go a little more.
    It’s pretty amazing how, when we let go of our expectations for life, life can more easily move through us, as the instrument we’re supposed to be. I feel like the Universe has been telling me “let go”. I’m reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth which really speaks to letting go of the ego and the need to attach to this very impermanent, physical form. I have had moments of space and ease when I actually am able to let go of that attachment. Today during yoga, the meditation at the end was on…letting go. As scary as it can be sometimes, to let go of this physical form that sometimes feels so permanent and needy, I think heaven and liberation come when we allow life to simply move through this gift of physical form.
    Sending love to all souls,

    • @Theresa Kulikowski So beautiful, Theresa, every word. But I’m really feeling that last bit — heaven and liberation coming when we allow… — resonating through my cells, all of them!
      Thanks, precious, for sharing this.
      Love and light,

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