The healing journey, accepting what is, asking for help

Learning to heal, a deep dive into a healing journey

healing journey

I have watched myself on this healing journey.

I watched myself resist what was happening. How could this be happening to me? (Oy, I have such inflated ideas about myself, superhero solopreneur, single woman who lives alone and takes care of herself!)

In the five days between hospitalizations, as I got sicker and sicker, I finally began to shed the layers of denial and resistance. And when the moment arrived when I needed to get back into the hospital, I allowed a friend to come and take me.

No matter what I think —what I like to think — about my self-care, my strength, my health, I had to get humble, the sooner the better. Humility and acceptance allow me to surrender to the moment, as it is. That’s where the healing can really begin.

Such hubris! To think that I would never have a ruptured appendix. Or that I was somehow above sepsis and c diff.

Now that I’m home again, I’ve been asking for help. And accepting it! Hard to do, worth every challenging moment.

Look, I was raised as a do-it-yourselfer. In a mindset of get what you can, you’re on your own. Surrendering to this asking and accepting stuff is something I’m having to learn as I go. Can you relate?

  • First of course, I asked my VA for some help communicating with people and postponing appointments. Some day I will may tell you about my VA, who sent an email explaining why she isn’t available because her husband is running for his life from someone who wants to murder him. A touch of the absurd (not for them of course, just in my scheme of things).
  • Then I allowed for a huge change to happen. I asked my daughter to help me. She’s 27, and until now, I had always had the strong-one role in our relationship. Now I had no choice. I have been loved, helped, cleaned for, taken to the bayshore and the movies, by my patient, loving and sadly very worried beautiful child.
  • My sister and brother-in-law have been on call as much as they can be, and we have the level of relationship where truth prevails.
  • I have a neighbor, just a touch older than my daughter, who has been helping take amazing care of me.

It’s tough, yes, to ask, but every time I do, miracles occur. When I can put down the supershero, I-can-do-it-myself! cape that feels much more like a lead apron than a light cloak, and be human, and ask for help, from a place of gratitude, I have every single thing I need.

I have much more to say, but please bear with me as I get back slowly into my work of staying connected with you. I am very very grateful for every word of love and care you have sent my way, and I am so glad to reconnect.

Please let me know about your journey with healing, acceptance, and asking for — and accepting — help. Leave a comment, let’s talk! I’ve missed you!

Blessed be.

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Sue

I’m a barely tamed hippie, sage, seasoned, sarcastic (not all the time any more, but still). I’m a mom, a daughter, sister, a neighbor, and a friend. I’ve been on this meandering journey — like you, probably — seeking a better connection to and experience of peace, harmony, and fun in every bit of life. I’m single, quite good at it, and mostly love it. I’m here for the conversations I get to have with you, which these days center on exploring the mystery and beauty of life, work, health, aging, and creative expression. Want to know a little more about me and my journey? Explore the site. Read the blog. Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

Lively conversation!

  1. Vanessa King says

    Wow, a second post in the same day from two different, wise, inspirational women! I think the universe is slapping me over the head with a large brick…

    I am sooooo bad at asking for help! Especially with anything to do with money. Today I have had to relent and accept help from a friend. It still feels like a tight fist in the solar plexus and I know I will have to go to that place and work it out. I’m not ready to do it tonight, I think I’m waiting for another brick courtesy of the universe 😉

    Thank you for sharing this message, it’s brilliant and appreciated (but painful too!)

    • Sue says

      Vanessa, thank you so much. May the last brick be soft, and may you surrender before you’re too bruised.

      Blessings,
      Sue

  2. Jaina Bee says

    Thank you for sharing this wisdom.

    I can remember a time when I felt so desperate that I was finally ready to ask for help— I felt forced, rather. I didn’t think I deserved it, thought I would be a burden to anyone I asked, but I was willing to give this strange notion a try because I had heard it worked for others. What a miracle it was to reach out to someone and break out of my self-imposed isolation. This is how I began to develop trust, and learn about true intimacy with others.

    • Sue says

      Jaina Bee, thanks for sharing your wisdom with so much grace, as you do. “Acting as if”, even if I don’t believe this could possibly work for me, is a powerful tool in breaking my own isolation and developing intimacy.

      Love and blessings,
      Sue

  3. diane butler says

    Dear Sue, Your testimonial to the humbling, courageous experience recently, has me even more grateful for signing on to your newsletter. Your journey is our journey. Your ability to call it so honestly is the guide and reminder for all of us.

    May you remain strong and have the knowledge to call for help sooner. I will do the same.

    Fondly and with appreciation,

    Diane

    • Sue says

      Diane, thank you. This has been an ongoing unfolding and now that I’ve dropped the resistance to what is (mostly!), I’m so grateful to be connected to you as we go through our journeys together.

      Love and more love,
      Sue

  4. Suzie Cheel says

    Sue this speaks to my heart in 2 ways — one for your experience and the healing you are going through. I know after what I experienced that there is always a lesson so we can step into out purpose. Yes I still am challenged in as like LOL
    Love
    Suzie xxx

    • Sue says

      Suzie, I am so glad I don’t have to do this alone. Bless you for sharing honestly from your heart. You give me strength.

      Love and light,
      Sue

    • Sue says

      Tanja, thank you. I’m finding that just like all the big stuff (grief, for example), the journey to recovery is neither linear nor smooth. Happily, though, I’m a bit stronger each day, so I will keep rolling with the changes with an open heart.

      Love,
      Sue

  5. Cindie Chavez says

    I remember when I finally got willing to ask for help, unfortunately it was because I absolutely couldn’t keep going without it. I so relate to what you wrote about being the strong one! Then I had an aha moment and I realized that giving and receiving were opposite sides of the same coin and cannot exist one without the other. By not asking for and being willing to receive help I was taking away someone else’s giving opportunity. Seeing it from that perspective helped a lot.
    So glad you are back, and on the mend, and receiving love, help, blessings. Sending you much love and healing blessings, Sue. xo

    • Sue says

      Cindie, I love this concept, that giving and receiving are (I’m expanding on it a bit) the yin and the yang of the very same thing, and that’s about relatedness, which always and forever boils down to love, doesn’t it.

      Thank you, I am blessed by your words.

      Sue

    • Sue says

      Jodi, thanks so much. What an amazing experience, coming back a tiny bit at a time. Yesterday I made some art for the first time in months and months… a big sign of healing for me.

      Huge hug right back to you!
      xoxox
      Sue

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