Time and means — a blessing and a reminder to be grateful

I was delivered an unexpected blessing today:

I have the time and means to do what needs to be done

My amazing chiropractor looked me in the eye at the end of my healing session today and told me what she sees: A resourced, competent woman who — now that the buyout agreement is signed — has the time and means to find the next right place to live with ease and with grace. My shoulders sank a bit (instead of being up around my ears), my tight chest opened like a lotus, and I breathed my next breath differently than I had been — for days and days. I remembered that all is already well, and that I can enjoy this journey.

“No matter how difficult and painful it may be, nothing sounds as good to the soul as the truth.”

― Martha Beck

The time and the means

I’ve been struggling and so stressed as I moved through this journey of first learning that I have to move and then negotiating the buyout with my landlady (in case you’re new to the story, you can read more here, here, here, and here).

Even though I was able to stay outwardly calm, what I’m owning up to today is that I reacted inside. I got more and more fearful and more and more stressed. It showed in my body — recurrence of my digestive symptoms and joint pain. It showed in my inability to sleep well.

The first thing that’s helping to bring me to healing is realizing that I now have a very favorable signed agreement that allows me up to six months to find a beautiful place to live. I am no longer paying rent, which will help me with moving expenses, and the sooner I find a place, the more I will receive as a buyout. This is very good! All I need to do is to finally sever the cords that are holding me in fear and resentment that this is happening at all.

I am grateful to remember what is true, and to invite love, even here, even now, even when things are uncertain.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”

— Brene Brown

Owning our story

My version of running away from what is keeps me stuck in resentment and disappointment. So stuck, I forget to breathe. So stuck I forget to use the powerful tools I have learned (and that I teach!) that allow me to remember that there is room for love in any situation. So frickin’ stuck I forget that I am wrapped in the love and safety of the Divine. I forget to be grateful!

So, right here and right now I own this. I own this moment in my story. I own it radically, knowing that even if I didn’t get this really wonderful agreement signed I’d still be okay, just fine, good to go. It’s my story, these changes — like all changes — are gifts full of opportunities for me to be my best self. I am standing tall (and breathing! and grateful!) in my story just as it is.

I am grateful because I remember that I am loved and held and safe and that there is much fun to be had as I write this next chapter of my life.

Everyone is flailing through this life without an owner’s manual, with whatever modicum of grace and good humor we can manage.”

— Anne Lamott

Owner's manual

I know that I do have an owner’s manual now, a beautiful one that contains all the wonderful teachings I have been lucky to learn along the way. What keeps me flailing is that I keep forgetting I have this manual! When I get scared enough, or stressed enough, I seem to forget everything good and hold on tight instead to my agonies. Well, today I have stopped flailing and have returned to my sovereign self. I have remembered what is true and released for the moment those thoughts that will (no joke) kill me if I let them.

I am grateful to feel ease and relaxation and openness as I take the next steps on this journey.

What helps you when things are challenging? When change of the unexpected and uninvited variety comes to you and to your business? What do you do to regroup and reground?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Full Moon blessings to you! May the Capricorn Full Moon shine brightly upon all your work and projects.

I for one am very grateful for this energy, as I have plenty and more plenty to do in the coming months. Yes, I did not do my usual Full Moon post this time; please forgive me!

Take a deeper dive — more articles like this one...

Divine neutrality — a deeper look

Divine Neutrality

Assumptions? What assumptions?

purple flowers, blown on the canvas

The journey

the joy of the journey

The journey Home.

HomePrayer

Home. From the inside out.

home2

The new normal — connect with your wisdom, choose what you transform

New normal

Sue

I’m a barely tamed hippie, sage, seasoned, sarcastic (not all the time any more, but still). I’m a mom, a daughter, sister, a neighbor, and a friend. I’ve been on this meandering journey — like you, probably — seeking a better connection to and experience of peace, harmony, and fun in every bit of life. I’m single, quite good at it, and mostly love it. I’m here for the conversations I get to have with you, which these days center on exploring the mystery and beauty of life, work, health, aging, and creative expression. Want to know a little more about me and my journey? Explore the site. Read the blog. Connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.

Lively conversation!

  1. Lisa Hutchison says

    Many blessings on the next steps of your new journey Sue! During times of change and otherwise I utilize my tools(healers, meditation, etc) although I like you have held on physically until I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Only then do I truly release and relax. I feel all the healing and support help me. I would be much worse off without it. <3

    • Sue says

      Lisa, I appreciate your words. There’s a lot of ease in accepting myself as I am — much better than self-judgement that I’m not somewhere else in my development.

      Blessings!
      Sue

  2. Rebecca says

    Sue I love hearing about your journey and how you are owning your own story right now 🙂 My tools when I am in overwhelm are meditation and coaching as they get me to reframe and see things in more of a positive light.

    • Sue says

      Rebecca, meditation and coaching, yes. To which I will add tai chi, a daily walk, strength training, and orgasms!

      Love and gratitude,
      Sue

  3. Lizzy says

    Thanks for this. It really helped me shift my perspective on my job – I’ve been resenting working there for a long time, but I can choose to see it as time and means to find something better that aligns with my passions and ethics, while still paying my bills!

  4. Diane says

    Dear Sue,

    Your consistent transparency to us heartens my spirit.

    Know this: You are a healer and light to my own dark, scary and forgetful thoughts.

    Gratitude to you, Ms. K, for your inspiration.

    Diane

  5. Dana Leigh Lyons says

    Ahh….awareness of time and ease. Such a blessing, Sue–glad you were able to hear and receive it so fully.

    I need to cultivate a greater sense of “enough time and ease” in my own life…thank you for the extra help and inspiration!

    • Sue says

      Dana, Ahh, and I need reminders so often! My go-to is not so full of ease, TBH.

      Thanks for shining that mirror for me.

      Love!
      Sue

  6. Marquita Herald says

    I am so happy things have worked out so well for you Sue, I just knew they would! As to your question, for me it’s all about the confidence I’ve gained by cultivating resilience because I’m able to look for the opportunities in whatever new challenges come my way knowing that no matter what happens, I’ll be okay. 🙂

    • Sue says

      I love that, Marquita. Cultivating resilience and seeing opportunities in challenges. What a great way to put it and what a perfect context for everything!

      xoxox
      Sue

    • Sue says

      Linda, exactly, thank you!

      I love that my words are understood. I’m very grateful.

      Love and light,
      Sue

  7. Juliet says

    Forgetting we actually have an ‘owner’s manual’; I can relate to that. I now write down the things I need to remember in a little notebook. The trick is to remember it’s there of course! How encouraging to know that you are in charge after all — taking ownership and knowing that you are safely held. Thank you for bringing honesty and inspiration together in this post.

    • Sue says

      Juliet, exactly! It’s remembering the notebook that’s the key. Thank goodness I can reset, reboot, and restart at any moment.

      I am grateful for your loving words.

      Blessed be,
      Sue

  8. Suzie Cheel says

    Sue i am so happy that things are moving forward for you and that you are remembering that you have your owners manual to support you- I know that one so often forget too 🙂
    The buyout is new to me- we don’t have that here in Australia.
    I wonder where you will move too- I was excited when you mentioned Hawaii
    You are in my prayers and i see everything moving forward smoothly
    love Suzie xx

    • Sue says

      Suzie, I am being led to my next perfect place to live and work. I think it’s staying local where I am, but I don’t know yet, and am open open open!

      Blessings!
      Sue

  9. Diane Howell Topkis says

    Sue, owning your story is such a positive move in your journey – even without the buyout. So glad you got that though. Opening up and sharing your journey has been so informative. Helps us all see even if we know or teach or coach our toolkit to the outside world, it’s often difficult to apply them to ourselves.
    For me, yoga and yogic breathing calms me and lets me re-balance in order to accept what is and move forward.

  10. Shulamit Ber Levtov says

    When things are challenging, I have learned to ask for help and support (mainly support lol because suggestions are still hard for me to take). When change of the unexpected and uninvited variety come to me and to my business, I can rely on my weekly Focusing partnership with a fellow solopreneur and heart-centred practitioner. I just bring it all to my body and it shows me the way forward. I’m still learning to regroup and reground; spacious awareness practice has been helping and I decided this is the summer of kirtan and by the end of August, I’ll have been to five!

    • Sue says

      Shulamit, Bringing it to your body — that’s high-level discernment. I’m starting to notice when I feel spaciousness and when I feel contraction. And I’m learning to be willing to act on what my body is telling me.

      Thanks for stopping by!
      xoxox
      Sue

  11. sherill says

    Hi, Thanks for sharing your story, it is very enlightening. Having an owners manual of our life gives us a sense of pride and confidence that no one can take away from us. Great Read!

Chime in!

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *